Scary Tales

   

Directed, Produced, Edited, Special Effects, Visual Effects, Cinemetography & Sound by: Michael Hoffman Jr.

Written by: Bill Cassinelli & Michael Hoffman Jr.

Starring:


Bill Cassinelli .... Dennis Frye
Joel D. Wynkoop .... Mr. Longfellow
Lindsay Horgan .... Jamie
Thorin Taylor Hannah .... Annabelle

Release Dates: Rebel Film Festival; Screamfest; Dark Xmas; Cinema Paradiso: 2001-02

 

 

Rating:

 

A nerdy unemployed man Dennis Frye (Bill Cassinelli) goes see an ad about employment opportunities posted on a bulletin board in a corner store which is owned by Mr. Longfellow (Joel D. Wynkoop). When he arrives for his appointment the parking lot is deserted and no one is at the employment opportunity department.
Dennis sees Mr. Longfellow he tells him about a bunch of stories on former employees and the evil moments that have happened to them.
Each story Longfellow tells Dennis he makes oit that Dennis himself is in the story.

The first one is I Aint Got No Body as Dennis is employed at a second hand bookstore but doesn't do a good job dealing with customers and the customers insult him especially a regular customer he has a crush on Jamie (Lindsay Horgan) who even messes with his head one time.
Eventually, Dennis finds a book at the store on Astral events in order to try and get Jamie to fall in love with him.
He finds a way to take his soul out of his body when he falls asleep and go to her house while she is asleep and talks to her telling her she will love him forever. The spell works but however, Dennis forgot to set the time which was planned to have his spirit return to his body and becomes an immortal soul.

While this story disturbs Dennis a great deal, Mr. Longfellow tells him there's an opportunity to be a caterer but before Dennis takes it Longfellow tells him another story about it.
This chapter is called Hit & Run which Dennis is sent to do a delivery while a little girl is sitting on the street playing with her doll. Dennis doesn't pay attention to who's on the raod and accidentally runs her over. He doesn't report it and then when he returns home from work he is haunted by the little girls doll as it whispers some chant to him.
Eventually a bunch of other dolls invade his house which causes him to go crazy and eventually he accidentally kills himself.

Then Dennis tells Mr. Longfellow that he was always a horror movie buff and there's someone looking for a horror film script.
This chapter is titled The Death Of... as Dennis tries to sell his script to movie producers but they just mock his work.
Eventually Dennis starts drinking and taking pills while writing. He hallucinates and sees his mentor Edgar Allen Poe (Lee Pinder) as he looks at his script.
Dennis thinks he has killed him but kills his wife and writes his stories as the movie producers advise him to write on his experience.

After all that was told, Dennis doesn't like the tales Longfellow is telling him and is about to leave but finds out that he has a deadly secret.

 

I found this film more funny than scary. It was like a cross between Twilight Zone and Tales from the Crypt. The opening credit shows a comic page like Tales... as well as in Creepshow. The film was close to a no budget but a good camera for a no budgeter.
Of course there's the wraparound segment with some nerdy guy named Dennis Frye shoplifiting and then spotting a business centre for employment opportunities and while we spot him meeting Mr. Longfellow he is supposed to have come across as strange but the scene looks very stale in how it was written.

There's is an interesting shot on a surveillance camera focusing on Dennis shoplifting by trying to sneak stuff in his pocket as well as good close up angle shots on him doing this. Then a good approach by Mr. Longfellow and his sidekick posting up an ad for job opportunities with a good close up shot on this as well as a good shot on Mr. Longfellow leaving the store with a cheesy evil grin on his face.
A nice camera shot looking up on Dennis wearing shades and acting slick while walking up to the door of the area. There's some good camera shots on him trying to speak to his sidekick with her turning towards him and having a stuck up answer towards him which looked not too badly done. Then a good shot on her butt while bending down to look at a file.
Some good camera shots on both Dennis and Mr. Longfellow on having a discussion as well as Dennis himself trying to crack a stale joke with Mr. Longfellow looking expressionless towards him and shooting a cold reply to him which offers some okay timing on someone who can come across intimidating.

Then we leap into I Aint Got No Body which looks like a good moment on someone who isn't good at his job which is Dennis himself and not on the ball with angry customers along with himself in wonderland about a girl of his dreams named Jamie who despises him. Alot of the writing on this was quite bad. There's some good camera shots on Dennis trying to give change at a book store and acting nervously with a good shot an angry customer looking ticked as well as having sarcastic replies which looked believeable.
There's also a good daydream sequence with both Dennis and Jamie at a beach together embracing one another as well as good shots on one another smiling. There's also good moments with the two of them sharing a piece of pizza and acting romantic along with a nice disturbance towards reality again with her at the store insulting him and having a stuck up attitude which seemed cheesy but yet believeably mean too.
Then a good moment with her trying to dig for some money to buy some books and then him telling her he has her covered in which the answer is very cheesy along with a wink towards her which looks a bit off and then a good close up shot on her trying to act charming saying to him she thought about his offer and her answer was "Hell No!" which looked slapstick and cruelly done in a cheesy but nicely made fashion.
There's another forceful moment when he tries to practice this magic but good shots on him setting his clock and then going to bed.
Yet there is a ghostly moment when he leaves his soul to go to her house which seems fun to watch but then the writing flops again when he tries to whisper in her ear while she is sleeping.
There's a good shot on her face taking a shower as well as her legs walking out and getting changed. But however when he appears as a soul trying to woo her it also looks incredibly forceful and wooden.
There's a nice panicking moment with him in the middle of the street at night scared that he won't make it back home on time which is good and convincing.
There's good shots on him in bed looking lifeless as well as a good angle shot on his arm lingering down.
A very rough moment with him running to a house door calling to him which looked like she was in a rush to finish.
There is some good tense moments yet towards the end of the film showing bad karma when he is late getting back to his house and has to go through eternity as a spirit. It gives you fears on being late for anything but this time meaning your whole life. Now that is scary enough to convince that this chapter is a horror in the end. But yet alot of the plot for this was incredibly bland during the first half of it.

The chapter Hit & Run was my favourite one in which this one tried to be scary but it was so cheesy it was hilarious. Dennis this time runs over a little girl but it wasn't as disturbing as it was supposed to have been but yet the thought of accidentally killing someone and not reporting it is scary imagining living with guilt for the rest of your life and wondering if the police will find out about it.
There's a good close up shot on Dennis using a stir fry pan and smoking a cigarette with close up shots on the pan.
A cheesy distant shot on a car driving on a road but a nice brief close up shot on a little girl playing with her doll on the side of the road.
There's some nice flashy shots on him in his car smoking a cigarette and having nervous reactions which looked natural and believeable that he had guilt for running over a little girl.
Then there's the dolls invading Dennis and stalking him as you hear whispering sounds coming out of them which is too funny as one of the dolls is a Cabbage Patch Kid. I mean what's so scary about that? But yet it drives him to go insane. Even that was cheesy and corny though.
A good shot on a doll moving it's eyes as well as a good surprised reaction on him spotting this doll as well as him throwing it in the garbage.
There's more good shots on him spotting more dolls in his bedroom as well as in the bathroom with great funny close up shots on these dolls.
A great moment with him almost going nuts and a shot on him running to a counter and checking out some knives tempted to do something crazy.
There's a nice cheesy shot on him backing up and tripping over a doll on a floor while holding a knife with a good shot on the knife spinning in the air.
There's a perfect camera shot on him lying on the ground next to the doll bloodied.
But the horror happens in the end of it as one of these dolls prevents Dennis to accidentally stab himself to death and the film tries to borrow a bit from the Twilight Zone with this one.

The Death Of... is quite strange. It looked a bit amateurish like the rest of the film with Dennis trying to sell his script yet there is a good psycholiogical edge to it when he deals with agents really dissing his script which is most people's fears when they try to present something.
There's a good shot on him at a desk showing a script and a nice close up shot on an agent insulting him and getting crude while telling him what he thinks of the script which looked believeably harsh and disturbing.
There's also another good cheesy shot on another agent at his desk with his head low and showing him a video box on Dirty Cop No Donut mocking his script and comparing it to the video box telling him to watch it instead which looked quite slapstick.
A nice moment with him entering his hotel room looking bummed and a nice comforting moment on his girlfriend as well as some interesting shots on them having a sex scene in bed showing a back shot as well as in front of them.
Theese scene's were not too bad scene's with him and his girlfriend but yet seems to lead a sad lifestyle by living in a hotel and eating microwave food. What's really disturbing is this guy intoxicating himself by drinking and taking pills while trying to write a script and trying to get it right. You think to yourself if this guy is gonna overdose. Many good fast takes on him swigging alcohol as well as taking a pill each time he tries to write something.
Then there's a scene with him getting into an insulting rage with his girlfriend which looked psychological, disturbing and grabbing lots of tension too.
There's a good dispute between him acting out of it and getting vulgar towards his girlfriend with insults which looked quite disturbing as well as a good close up shot on him and then she goes into a closet to pack things up in a fast action motion. Then a good crude goodbye with her which looked fairly energetic.
A good camera shot going sideways while he falls asleep on the table with his head falling down.
There's weird scene's with Dennis and him hallucinating and spotting Edgar Allen Poe helping him give inspiration for his script. There's some phony looking elements on this but in the end it seemed impressive and has a Tales from the Crypt edge to it.
A good moment with Dennis slowly waking up and a nice blurry shot coming to life spotting Edgar Allen Poe staring at him and trying to talk to him along with good answers on Dennis himself acting out of it and wobbling around towards a wall along with good shots on Poe sitting at the table looking over the script.
A cheesy shot on Dennis whacking him over the head with a glass object which didn't look brutal at all.
There's a good shot on him dragging a body in a sack over to a ground and then burying it with the sack wiggling which looked pretty creepy.

Bottom line is this film is crap and barely passes as a horror flick but yet the film saves from bombing with some of the odd interesting elements that were mentioned in this flick. This film was barely released and for a short time onto DVD.

The acting is in average shape as Bill Cassinelli (Dennis Frye) had the right looks to play a dweeby type of character as well as acting hopeless with his uplifting moments trying to joke around. However he was too forceful at times when he tries to stress stuff in certain parts of the chapters in this film. Yet he brings some okay timing in spts towards the end of certain chapters too. He wasn't award winning material by any means but can be fairly okay with his characteristics.
Joel D. Wynkoop
(Mr. Longfellow) seemed a little too goofy to be taken seriously with his intimidating attitude as a madman in the flick for the wraparound story pretending to be an employment counsellor. Yet he sometimes does show some expressionless actions which makes him seem like someone who is not good to be around and hard to please. Other spots he was way too comedic in a tacky way. I was never a fan of his work.
Lindsay Horgan
(Jamie) seems to have a nice stuck up personality in the chapter I Have No Body in which she seems a natural character actress by being so mean and hard to please as well as playing mean games. She came across funny while doing this and brought some nice energy to her role even if the writing was a little off.
Thorin Taylor Hannah
(Annabelle) seemed to come across nicely in The Death Of... as someone who tries to be romantic and caring with her outgoing behavior. She comes across as someone intelligent. She also does well by getting aggressive too when a dispute happens changing her tone. All in all she was a good actress.

There is a boob shot by Lindsay's character taking a shower and a quick butt shot when she takes off her towel.

In Hit & Run, a knife lands in Dennis' neck causing blood to splurt out.
There is very little blood in the other chapters too but nothing gory.

The music composed by Orange Nightmare as there is little neat cheesy but creepy piano echoes almost like you'd expect from a Friday the 13th flick. There's also some rumbling synthesizer music in some spots of the film that doesn't sound too bad at all. Also some sloppy synthesizer and saxophone jazz comedic music too for the supposed funny spots too.

Jamie: I've made up my mind on your offer and my answer is... hell no!!! (Runs off)

Dennis Frye: Tonight I'm gonna make her love me.

Dennis Frye: Eternity like this? Karma's a bitch!