A nerdy unemployed man
Dennis Frye (Bill Cassinelli) goes
see an ad about employment opportunities
posted on a bulletin board in a corner
store which is owned by Mr.
Longfellow (Joel D. Wynkoop). When he
arrives for his appointment the parking
lot is deserted and no one is at the
employment opportunity department.
Dennis sees Mr. Longfellow he tells him
about a bunch of stories on former
employees and the evil moments that have
happened to them.
Each story Longfellow tells Dennis he
makes oit that Dennis himself is in the
story.
The first one is I Aint Got No Body as
Dennis is employed at a second hand
bookstore but doesn't do a good job
dealing with customers and the customers
insult him especially a regular customer
he has a crush on Jamie (Lindsay
Horgan) who even messes with his head one
time.
Eventually, Dennis finds a book at the
store on Astral events in order to try
and get Jamie to fall in love with him.
He finds a way to take his soul out of
his body when he falls asleep and go to
her house while she is asleep and talks
to her telling her she will love him
forever. The spell works but however,
Dennis forgot to set the time which was
planned to have his spirit return to his
body and becomes an immortal soul.
While this story
disturbs Dennis a great deal, Mr.
Longfellow tells him there's an
opportunity to be a caterer but before
Dennis takes it Longfellow tells him
another story about it.
This chapter is called Hit
& Run which Dennis
is sent to do a delivery while a little
girl is sitting on the street playing
with her doll. Dennis doesn't pay
attention to who's on the raod and
accidentally runs her over. He doesn't
report it and then when he returns home
from work he is haunted by the little
girls doll as it whispers some chant to
him.
Eventually a bunch of other dolls invade
his house which causes him to go crazy
and eventually he accidentally kills
himself.
Then Dennis tells Mr.
Longfellow that he was always a horror
movie buff and there's someone looking
for a horror film script.
This chapter is titled The
Death Of... as Dennis
tries to sell his script to movie
producers but they just mock his work.
Eventually Dennis starts drinking and
taking pills while writing. He
hallucinates and sees his mentor Edgar
Allen Poe (Lee Pinder) as he looks at his
script.
Dennis thinks he has killed him but kills
his wife and writes his stories as the
movie producers advise him to write on
his experience.
After all that was told,
Dennis doesn't like the tales Longfellow
is telling him and is about to leave but
finds out that he has a deadly secret.
I found this film
more funny than scary. It was like a
cross between Twilight Zone and Tales from the Crypt.
The opening credit shows a comic page
like Tales... as well as
in Creepshow. The film
was close to a no budget but a good
camera for a no budgeter.
Of course there's the wraparound segment
with some nerdy guy named Dennis Frye
shoplifiting and then spotting a business
centre for employment opportunities and
while we spot him meeting Mr. Longfellow
he is supposed to have come across as
strange but the scene looks very stale in
how it was written.
There's is an interesting shot on a
surveillance camera focusing on Dennis shoplifting by trying to sneak stuff
in his pocket as well as good close up
angle shots on him doing this. Then a
good approach by Mr. Longfellow and
his sidekick posting up an ad for job opportunities
with a good close up shot on this as well
as a good shot on Mr. Longfellow leaving the store with a cheesy evil grin
on his face.
A nice camera shot looking up on Dennis wearing shades and acting slick
while walking up to the door of the area.
There's some good camera shots on him
trying to speak to his sidekick with
her turning towards him and having a
stuck up answer towards him which looked
not too badly done. Then a good shot on
her butt while bending down to look at a
file.
Some good camera shots on both Dennis and Mr. Longfellow on having a discussion
as well as Dennis himself trying to
crack a stale joke with Mr. Longfellow looking
expressionless towards him and shooting a
cold reply to him which offers some okay
timing on someone who can come across
intimidating.
Then we leap into I
Aint Got No Body which looks
like a good moment on someone who isn't
good at his job which is Dennis himself
and not on the ball with angry customers
along with himself in wonderland about a
girl of his dreams named Jamie who
despises him. Alot of the writing on this
was quite bad. There's some
good camera shots on Dennis trying
to give change at a book store and acting
nervously with a good shot an angry customer
looking ticked as well as having
sarcastic replies which looked
believeable.
There's also a good daydream sequence
with both Dennis and Jamie at a beach together embracing
one another as well as good shots on one
another smiling. There's also good
moments with the two of them sharing a
piece of pizza and acting romantic along
with a nice disturbance towards reality
again with her at the store insulting him
and having a stuck up attitude which
seemed cheesy but yet believeably mean
too.
Then a good moment with her trying
to dig for some money to buy some books
and then him telling her
he has her covered in which the answer is
very cheesy along with a wink towards her
which looks a bit off and then a good
close up shot on her trying to act
charming saying to him she thought about
his offer and her answer was "Hell
No!" which looked slapstick and
cruelly done in a cheesy but nicely made
fashion.
There's another forceful moment when he tries to practice this magic but
good shots on him setting his clock and
then going to bed.
Yet there is a ghostly moment when he
leaves his soul to go to her house which
seems fun to watch but then the writing
flops again when he tries to whisper in
her ear while she is sleeping.
There's a good shot on her face taking a shower as well as her legs
walking out and getting changed. But
however when he appears
as a soul trying to woo her it also looks
incredibly forceful and wooden.
There's a nice panicking moment with him
in the middle of the street at night
scared that he won't make it back home on
time which is good and convincing.
There's good shots on him in bed looking lifeless as well as a good
angle shot on his arm lingering down.
A very rough moment with him running to a house door calling to him
which looked like she was in
a rush to finish.
There is some good tense moments yet
towards the end of the film showing bad
karma when he is late getting back to his
house and has to go through eternity as a
spirit. It gives you fears on being late
for anything but this time meaning your
whole life. Now that is scary enough to
convince that this chapter is a horror in
the end. But yet alot of the plot for
this was incredibly bland during the
first half of it.
The chapter Hit
& Run was my favourite one
in which this one tried to be scary but
it was so cheesy it was hilarious. Dennis
this time runs over a little girl but it
wasn't as disturbing as it was supposed
to have been but yet the thought of
accidentally killing someone and not
reporting it is scary imagining living
with guilt for the rest of your life and
wondering if the police will find out
about it.
There's a good close
up shot on Dennis using a
stir fry pan and smoking a cigarette with
close up shots on the pan.
A cheesy distant shot on a car
driving on a road but a nice brief close
up shot on a little girl playing with her doll on the
side of the road.
There's some nice flashy shots on him in his car smoking a cigarette and
having nervous reactions which looked
natural and believeable that he had guilt
for running over a little girl.
Then there's the dolls invading Dennis
and stalking him as you hear whispering
sounds coming out of them which is too
funny as one of the dolls is a Cabbage
Patch Kid. I mean what's so scary about
that? But yet it drives him to go insane.
Even that was cheesy and corny though.
A good shot on a doll moving it's
eyes as well as a good surprised reaction
on him spotting this doll as well as him
throwing it in the garbage.
There's more good shots on him spotting
more dolls in his bedroom as well as in
the bathroom with great funny close up
shots on these dolls.
A great moment with him almost
going nuts and a shot on him running to a
counter and checking out some knives
tempted to do something crazy.
There's a nice cheesy shot on him backing
up and tripping over a doll on a floor
while holding a knife with a good shot on
the knife spinning in the air.
There's a perfect camera shot on him
lying on the ground next to the doll
bloodied.
But the horror happens in the end of it
as one of these dolls prevents Dennis to
accidentally stab himself to death and
the film tries to borrow a bit from the Twilight
Zone with this one.
The Death
Of... is quite strange. It
looked a bit amateurish like the rest of
the film with Dennis trying to sell his
script yet there is a good psycholiogical
edge to it when he deals with agents
really dissing his script which is most
people's fears when they try to present
something.
There's a good shot
on him at a desk showing
a script and a nice close up shot on an
agent insulting him and getting crude
while telling him what he thinks of the
script which looked believeably harsh and
disturbing.
There's also another good cheesy shot on
another agent at his
desk with his head low and showing him a
video box on Dirty Cop No Donut mocking his script and comparing it to
the video box telling him to watch it
instead which looked quite slapstick.
A nice moment with him entering his hotel room looking
bummed and a nice comforting moment on his girlfriend as well as some
interesting shots on them having a sex
scene in bed showing a back shot as well
as in front of them.
Theese scene's were not too bad scene's with him and
his girlfriend but yet seems to lead a
sad lifestyle by living in a hotel and
eating microwave food. What's really
disturbing is this guy intoxicating
himself by drinking and taking pills
while trying to write a script and trying
to get it right. You think to yourself if
this guy is gonna overdose. Many good fast takes on him swigging alcohol as well as taking a
pill each time he tries to write
something.
Then there's a scene with him getting
into an insulting rage with his
girlfriend which looked psychological,
disturbing and grabbing lots of tension too.
There's a good dispute between him acting out of it and getting vulgar
towards his girlfriend with insults
which looked quite disturbing as well as
a good close up shot on him and then she
goes into a closet to pack things up in a
fast action motion. Then a good crude
goodbye with her which looked fairly
energetic.
A good camera shot going sideways
while he falls asleep on the table with
his head falling down.
There's weird scene's with Dennis and him
hallucinating and spotting Edgar Allen
Poe helping him give inspiration for his
script. There's some phony looking
elements on this but in the end it seemed
impressive and has a Tales from
the Crypt edge to it.
A good moment with Dennis slowly
waking up and a nice blurry shot coming
to life spotting Edgar Allen Poe staring at
him and trying to talk to him along with
good answers on Dennis himself acting
out of it and wobbling around towards a
wall along with good shots on Poe sitting at the table looking over the
script.
A cheesy shot on Dennis whacking
him over the head with a glass object
which didn't look brutal at all.
There's a good shot on him dragging
a body in a sack over to a ground and
then burying it with the sack wiggling
which looked pretty creepy.
Bottom line is
this film is crap and barely passes as a
horror flick but yet the film saves from
bombing with some of the odd interesting
elements that were mentioned in this
flick. This film was barely released and
for a short time onto DVD.
The acting is in
average shape as Bill Cassinelli (Dennis Frye) had the right looks to play
a dweeby type of character as well as
acting hopeless with his uplifting
moments trying to joke around. However he
was too forceful at times when he tries
to stress stuff in certain parts of the
chapters in this film. Yet he brings some
okay timing in spts towards the end of
certain chapters too. He wasn't award
winning material by any means but can be
fairly okay with his characteristics.
Joel D. Wynkoop (Mr. Longfellow)
seemed a little too goofy to be taken
seriously with his intimidating attitude
as a madman in the flick for the
wraparound story pretending to be an
employment counsellor. Yet he sometimes
does show some expressionless actions
which makes him seem like someone who is
not good to be around and hard to please.
Other spots he was way too comedic in a
tacky way. I was never a fan of his work.
Lindsay Horgan (Jamie) seems to have
a nice stuck up personality in the
chapter I Have No Body in which she seems a natural character
actress by being so mean and hard to
please as well as playing mean games. She
came across funny while doing this and
brought some nice energy to her role even
if the writing was a little off.
Thorin Taylor Hannah (Annabelle)
seemed to come across nicely in The
Death Of... as someone who tries
to be romantic and caring with her
outgoing behavior. She comes across as
someone intelligent. She also does well
by getting aggressive too when a dispute
happens changing her tone. All in all she
was a good actress.
There is a boob
shot by Lindsay's character
taking a shower and a quick butt shot
when she takes off her towel.
In Hit
& Run, a knife lands in
Dennis' neck causing blood to splurt out.
There is very little blood in the other
chapters too but nothing gory.
The music composed
by Orange
Nightmare as there
is little neat cheesy but creepy piano
echoes almost like you'd expect from a Friday
the 13th flick. There's also
some rumbling synthesizer music in some
spots of the film that doesn't sound too
bad at all. Also some sloppy synthesizer
and saxophone jazz comedic music too for
the supposed funny spots too.
Jamie: I've made up
my mind on your offer and my answer is...
hell no!!! (Runs off)
Dennis
Frye: Tonight I'm gonna make her love
me.
Dennis
Frye: Eternity like this? Karma's a
bitch!
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