Spring Break Massacre (2009)

   
Co-Produced & Directed by: Michael Hoffman Jr.

Written by: Michael Hoffman Jr. & Meghan Jones

Starring:

Reggie Bannister .... Sheriff Jacob Yates
Sarah Minnic .... Heather Kilbourne
Renee Darmiento .... Laurie
Aly Hartman .... Zoe
Erin Meyers .... Maddy
Toni Buena .... Alyssa
Jeff Pride .... Nick
Rick Federman .... Steve
Jay Hayden .... Rob
Christian Anderson .... Chad
Linnea Quigley .... Deputy Michelle Hendricks
Bob Farster .... Mr. Malone
John Schumski .... Mr. Kilbourne
Curtis Taylor .... Stanley Peterson


Release Dates:
Direct-to-DVD: October 25, 2009

 

 

Rating:

 

Six sorority co-eds decide to throw a slumber party on Spring Break at their resort by a lake owned by Heather Kilbourne (Sarah Minnic) in which her father Mr. Kilbourne (John Schumski) allowed her to use the place for their vacation in which they have all sorts of fun including playing volleyball or daring each other to go skinny dipping in a dirty lake.
A bunch of guy's are drinking at a bar and then decides to hang out there to have fun with these co-ed's and party out with them.
Yet what they don't know is that a convicted killer Stanley Peterson (Curtis Taylor) has escaped from prison and seems to be killing these co-ed's one by one but this killer could be anyone as the head Sheriff Stanley Yates (Reggie Bannister) and Deputy Michelle Hendricks (Linnea Quigley) tries to find some missing clues as to who killed all of these people.

 

A film that tried to carry on the T&A cheesy slasher tradition like Slumber Party Massacre or Sorority House Massacre films but yet that was alot more fun that this pile of crap so let's take a look here and see what I can comment on this which is very little.
The beginning we see a film type of scene which looks Grindhouse tpye of material which is grainy like taking place in the past which is 1997 and the scene's look cheesy showing some people partying out and doing drugs and then a killing starts with a pizza guy at the door and then he enters and later on is charged guilty.
Suddenly it's present day and we spot some kids hanging out at a lake and jumping in the water and I was thinking that they certainly found a good location for an independent film.

There's a moment with the head sheriff and deputy which looked too corny and not at all convincing at the police station about certain situations. Later on the head sheriff goes to the place where all the killings took place and then the story is about to unravel by what has all happened there. It seemed to leave the film off to a nice start but then it goes very badly in which the teens aren't believeable partying out or playing sports plus there's some scene's with two police officers having sarcastic discussions as well as getting aggressive with one another which looked way too slapstick and in a terrible way especially on how the scene's were written too. I wasn't impressed at all and was bored stiff by watching all of this.
It gets worst though as the guys hang out at the bar and when you watch this it doesn't look like they're having a good time and it's all pretend as well as the girls having a lesbian massage with one another at their resort plus there's a big guy next door who is supposedly a creepy neighbor and the story even falls flat there with the lines and how he came across and I was about the puke it was that terrible.
Then there are the girls daring to go skinny dipping in a lake with dirty water which I've seen much better than what is happening here but yet there's a moment with two guys slaughtered and one of them doesn't realise this by trying to talk to them which seemed pretty impressive but then that falls flat too when he realises they're dead.
There's a scene with the killers hands grabbing the deputy and bashing her head against a vehicle which was slow paced and didn't look the least brutal like it was supposed to be.
There's also moments with the girls at their lodge playing cards or poker which didn't seem believeably performed when they are playing this.
But later on when the killer is revealed it seemed a bit fun there when he explains on what went on with everything. This was the only good scene out of everything as the killings were terribly done and so was the plot.
Bottom line is this film is just as clever as a really bad Troma Team type of film and we all know how bad those one's are and imagine the one's that were really bad that you wouldn't want to watch them. Everything about this film is amateurish and easily forgettable.

The acting is terrible as it looked like that most of these performers have gruaduated out of a porn academy. Not much to mention but I shall try.
Reggie Bannister
(
Sheriff Jacob Yates) plays the lead role in it... yes you heard right the lead role other than in the Phantasm flick and having minor roles in other films. He was pretty wooden with his performance as a head sheriff with an attitude which is totally unconvincing. There's a scene with him having an attitude towards his fellow actress which was extremely low on energy. It just seemed like that he wasn't into his role at all but there were odd moments he was passable by investigating some murders but that's about it folks.
Sarah Minnic
(Heather Kilbourne) played the female lead in the film as a scream queen type of victim in the flick in which she tried her best to portray this character and also pushed to show some energy but yet she seemed to fail in order to do so. No points for her sadly.
Linnea Quigley
(Deputy Michelle Hendricks) had about 20 minutes or so in her role and really was low on energy when she tried to be sarcastic and witty in her role but she was not humoress at all. Plus she wasn't convincing with her screams towards the end of her performance which is sad. Hey scream queen hey day in trashy low budget ended years ago before she landed this role and you can see why.
Bob Farster
(Mr. Malone) was the worst out of all the cast members in which he portrays a suspect to the killings in this film in which he draws humor and intimidating moments which both fell flat.
There's an approach by him acting weird with an actress which lacked greatly. He seriously couldn't act his way out of a wet paper back and barely had the intimidating looks too.
John Schumski
(Mr. Kilbourne) was proabably the best actor in this film as he was stale like the others in the beginning by acting way too over the top at first but then he seemed to really get into it when he acted crazy so he was not bad there.
Yet we spot a moment with him by acting crazy towards the rest of the supporting actresses who survived the massacre which I was thinking to myself "This is such a joke!" There is a good performance with him discussing about what had happened and telling twisted secrets as to why he was doing the things he's doing which had some nice class.

Women are topless in a resort massaging one another
Two women are naked taking a shower together
Then many boob shots on them daring to go skinny dipping

Throats are slit
Faces are sliced
A person is stabbed through with a machette

The music is composed by Joseph Butera III in which he does have some odd good moments like the typical banging sounds in which makes the scene's effective when you're supposed to jump as well as the odd screeching sounds too with some chiming sounds and creepy tones that was used in the Scary Tales flicks. However, he has composed many cheesy music effects too like the light piano playing music and other types of music too that doesn't seem to fit in.