My mother
got me addicted to Search
for Tomorrow when I was in
pre-school. The summer before I
went into kindergarten, I fell in
love with a character named Robin
a teenage prostitute! My
life was never the same again! Morgan
Fairchild was cast on the
soap around that time, too, and
I, soon, simply, became
fascinated with her Thelma
Todd-like white hot
beauty. The summer that her
bitchy character, Jennifer, was
thrown into a full plate glass
sliding door by one of the men
that she had tried to destroy,
was the most exciting one of my
very young life! Even Who
Shot J.R.? years later
could not compare! Jennifer
survived, but Fairchild
soon left to explore bigger show
business horizons. I followed Fairchilds
career post-Search, of course,
but nothing could compare to
those early soap days when I
thought she was the most
magnificent creature that
breathed on this Earth. (In fact,
at first, I simply could not
believe she was mortal!) As a
pre-teen, spending my paper route
dollars on yard sale records and
fan magazines, I, eventually,
discovered a picture in Movie
Mirror of Fairchild and
her aspiring actress sister, Cathryn
Hartt. Hartt, the
caption said, had a role in
Fairchilds latest motion
picture, the slasher-thriller,
The Seduction. I waited,
breathlessly, until the picture
appeared on cable a year later.
The picture disappointed me
12 months of anticipation
can do that but it was
thrilling to see Hartt and
Fairchild in the same
movie together. They were, both,
celluloid goddesses to me, now!
About three years later, our
bootleg cable got an extra boast
when we got free Cinemax, along
with free HBO, for about a month.
One late Saturday night, I stayed
up to watch something called Pink
Motel with Phyllis Diller and
Slim Pickens. It was billed as a
sex comedy and I am sure that I
had wanted to watch it, in the
hopes that I coul d catch some
hot bare man booty. What I got
was better Cathryn
Hartt in a featured role as a
seductive, duplicitous femme
fatale. By Sunday morning, I had
found a new love!
Of course, college
soon followed. I moved to Chicago
and fell in love with punk rock,
Joni Mitchell and feminist poets
and didnt go near a
television for years. Eventually,
one of the actresses, whom had
appeared in one of my plays on
womens rights, invited me
to the theater, one night. It was
a musical version of Gilligans
Island. It wasnt the
greatest show ever, but the
musical numbers were cute
and Cathryn Hartt was in
the cast and she changed my
life, once again! She was,
actually, a perfect Ginger
and seeing her, live, on stage,
is still one of my favorite
theatrical experiences. (Hell, I
was so close to the stage, I
could even see where she had
shaved her pits when she raised
her arms. And that, of course, is
theater magic, my friends, in all
its glory! Theater magic!) Of
course, I stuck around and had
her sign my program and,
once I got home and back into my
real life-you know,
the sad one where she wasnt
aroun d, constantly, signing my
theatrical mementos, I began to
seek out all of her other films!
There were, among others, Open
House, an awkward, yet
enjoyably bloody thriller
starring Adrienne Barbeau,
Creature from Black Lake,
a quirky backwoods monster flick
with Jack Elam and to
balance it all out, for sweetness
sake, there was a role as a
stewardess in my childhood
favorite, For the Love of
Benji. I was hooked Hartt,
line and sinker! (Or Hartt, star,
of slashers! Whatever you
prefer! And, while many of Hartts
performances were featured and
under-five roles, all
enthusiastic and well crafted,
she, also, had several major and
supporting roles in the above
mentioned Pink Motel, Open
House and Creature from
Black Lake.)
About two
years later, I was down in
Florida visiting my sister and I
dragged her to an independent
movie festival. I spoke to the
director of the film we saw,
briefly, afterwards, mentioning I
was a theater person, based in
Chicago. A gentleman, whom had a
small role in the film,
approached me, saying that his
wife had done a show in Chicago.
I turned around and there
she was! Cathryn Hartt!!!
One of the coolest encounters in
my life! My sister said that she
never saw someone look so
pleasantly surprised when I,
delightedly, called out her name
and began to rattle off her
films. A couple of photographs
and an exchange of numbers later,
my sister drove me off into the
starry, starry night, humming
with bliss. Though, I returned to
Florida, on numerous occasions, I
never saw her again.
Hartt,
still in the business, runs an
acting studio in Texas, now. She
never reached the height of fame
of those equal to her in talent.
In fact, the first time I met her
I had blundered out the
statement, I just love bad
B Movies! She, amusedly,
taken aback, replied, But
the actresses in them arent
bad. But, she has
brightened and will
continue to brighten- my life and
perhaps, that is the highest
compliment that one can give a
performer. Cathryn Hartt,
you will forever- reign, a
star, to me!
Note: I
performed the following poem at
various poetry performance events
in the mid-to-late 90s in
Chicago. It was, also, featured
in my chapbook, Poems for Scream
Queens (and other Illustrious
Women).
Our family
rooms
Small black and
white TV
With raspy
reception
Became
magical
On late weekend
nights.
Watching it then
I was transported,
In all my awkward
bespectacled ness
To the environments
Where I yearned to
belong.
Places
Where I could,
immediately,
Become sleek and
smooth,
Discover potential
as a hero
Or just emerge into
normalcy-
As a true part of
the gang.
It lifted
me out
Of the small town
Where my dreams
were curiosities
And deposited me in
a land
Where I was a true
star
A temporary
paradise
Where I was
surrounded by,
Could connect with
All those people,
Whom, onscreen,
Seemed so mystical,
So confidant
And whom
Like the
constellations
Twinkling,
brightly, above me
Were so very
Far, far away.
(*Upon
recalling watching her in late
night classics like The
Seduction and Pink Motel.)
Below,
are reviews of Cathryn
Hartts major and featured
roles in films.
Creature
From Black Lake. 1976. IMDB lists this as Cathryn
Hartts, then using the
name Catherine McClenny,
first major film appearance. She
has a nice co-starring role,
appearing in two important
scenes, as Eve, a goofily
rambunctious, incredibly awkward,
back-woods Louisianan waitress. Hartt employs a true sense of physical
awareness and comic timing,
something she uses to great
advantage in most of her film
roles. As for the movie, itself,
-this is a grainy, pleasant, low
budget affair with a true sense
of atmosphere and a low key
Southern charm. Two college
researchers, from Chicago, head
out into the swampy wilds to
track down a mythical creature.
Of course, none of the
townspeople want to talk about
the creature at least on
record or without monetary
bribing. Jack Elam shows
up as a blus tering drunk who
lost his trapping partner to the
creature and Dub Taylor gives a naturally comic turn as
an old timer who experienced the
creatures wraith on several
occasions. Dennis Fimple,
as the bumbling student and John
David Carson (Empire of
the Ants, Pretty Maids All
in a Row), as his smart-ass
partner-in-crime, play, nicely,
off of one another and
their final confrontation with
the creature, while not exactly
horrifying, is intense and
well-acted by the two of them.
This is, ultimately, low radar,
enjoyable drive-in movie fare
and, as for aficionados of the
Bigfoot myth and Southern Swamp
features well, they just
may have found a winner.
Futureworld.
1976. Hartt, still billed
as Catherine McClenny, has
one line as a secretary,
Youre late,
that she delivers with enough
amused disdain to lead, Peter
Fonda, that you can tell the
whole history of their
relationship in those two words.
Plus she looks fantastic!
Otherwise, this sci-fi thriller
and sequel to 1973s Westworld,
is a slow moving, if not
un-enjoyable adventure tale. Of
course, the effects are far
outdated and the plot, involving
a plan to take over the world by
evil robotic duplicates, might
seem slightly unoriginal now, but
that is times effect for
you, and Fonda (also of Spasms,
Trilogy of the Dead and the
Irene Cara-Tatum ONeal
flick, Certain Fury) and Blythe
Danner make a cute, if
unlikely coupling kind of
like Sam and Diane from Ch
eers about 10 years ahead of
their time. It is also neat to
see the sophisticated and highly
regarded Danner (whose
other genre credits include an
episode of Tales from the
Crypt, the 1978 t-v movie
He Knows Youre
Alone a childhood
favorite of mine- and her 1972
film debut, the truly bizarre
To Kill A Clown)
run, shoot guns and confront her
evil double. The Rockford
Files Stuart
Margolin gives the best
performance as an eccentric
mechanic whom has developed a
friendly relationship with one of
the older robots from the first
film. I kept hoping that robot
whose face is just a mass
of electronics- would turn out to
be Yul Brynner, the
original robot bad-guy from Westworld.
Alas, he shows up, only, in
flashbacks and in a baffling
dream dance sequence with Danner.
And while that might not rival
his exchange with Deborah Kerr in
The King in I, it sure is
amusing to watch.
For
the Love of Benji. 1977. This was one of my favorite films
as a kid! In fact, I still have
my Benji and Tiffany plastic
dolls, as a favorite childhood
keepsake though one of
them is missing a leg and the
Greek background that came with
them is long gone. Years later,
this is still quite a cute and
charming adventure and the
Grecian scenery is amazing. Even
if you dont have kids or
nieces or nephews, this might be
a charming nostalgia trip
and I still think Benji is one of
the cutest dogs ever!!!
Genre vet, Ed Nelson (The
Boneyard, A Bucket of
Blood, Night of the Blood
Beast and Brain Eaters)
goes all bad and nasty here,
chasing Benji and girlfriend dog,
Tiffany, throughout Greece,
looking for a gold medallion he
smuggled into Athens with our
favorite furry friend. Hartt
, still billed as McClenny,
has little to do here except act
friendly and professional as a
stewardess who helps Benji and
friends board the plane to
Greece. Still, its great to have
her as a part of one of my kiddy
favorites, only, I just hope the
poor dear landed some extra
compensation pay for the
god-awful character uniform that
she had to act in. It would have
rendered even Laurence Olivier
immobile and speechless.
Seniors.
1978. I am usually up for
anything, exploitation-wise, but
this t-and-a offering is actually
pretty flat (and Im not
referring to bosoms, but jokes!)
and poorly done. Dennis Quaid and
Jeffrey Byron (Early
1980s 3-D Metalstorm:
The Destruction of Jared Syn
and vampire soap, Port Charles)
are graduating college students
whom hatch a plan to stay on
campus by pretending to be sexual
researchers conducting a
survey-experiment, charting the
liberated females fantasies
and desires. Hartt, still McClenny,
is one of the many girls who
volunteers for the project. She
has one of the better moments, as
a kinky college girl, named
Diane, who struggles
to free herself from a set of
ropes, while tied to a bed- and
this scenario and Hartts
appeal and talent help make her
stand out as more than just one
in an ocean of women in this weak
comedy. In a way, I suppose, it
is all pretty harmless, except
for the role played by Priscilla
Barnes (Threes
Company, Blood on the Back
Lot). Barnes
character speaks not a word, as
she cleans, cooks and services Quaid and the others, as their devoted
and long suffering housemaid or,
as in the words of one of the
guys, she is a nympho who
loves to cook and clean.
.If Barnes character had
some kind of oomph or personality
something the actress has
plenty of- and some dialogue,
perhaps, this would have not
proven so damning. But she is
just a blank and vacant cipher
another joke, among many,
in this film, that just
doesnt come off correctly.
(Anyhow, if you want to see for
yourself, it is available,
currently on DVD, for a penny
plus shipping- on
Amazon.com.)
The
Seduction. 1982. I
enjoyed this guilty pleasure more
on this viewing than on any other
previous viewing and while there
are some enjoyable moments
this could have been a true cult
classic and, sadly, falls short. Morgan
Fairchild does show restraint
and skill with material that
could have gone way over the top
with another actress. Too bad the
material she is given goes pretty
much nowhere at all, though. This
film is meandering and oddly
paced, when it should have been
gleefully attacked and committed
to by its director and producers.
(In fact, this could have been
the early 80s Showgirls of stalker films, but, sadly
no cigar.) Things happen
with no true build-up or steady
flow of suspense. Even when
things start to get good, like
when Fairchild begins to
turn the tables on her attacker ,
the momentum is quickly dropped
and lethargy takes, quickly, over
again. Still, as stated,
previously, Fairchild
shows a strong subtlety and, the
always reliable, Colleen Camp
livens things up as her brassy
best friend. Even Andrew
Stevens, known more for his
incredible body than his
incredible acting, is fairly
convincing and cast
against type- as the slippery
psycho after Fairchild.
And there are enough goofily
kinky moments like the hot
tub sex scene where Fairchild
and Michael Sarrazin,
lustfully mush their cheeks
together in lieu of kissing, Wendy
Smith Howards emotional
histrionics when her crush, Stevens,
rejects her or when Fairchild
taunts Stevens, in the
films final moments, to
f--k her to
travel down this path, at least
once. As for genre vets, the
eagerly adorable Kevin Brophy
(Hell Night and the Lucan
TV series) makes a nice
supporting turn -and Cathryn
Hartt, the main point of this
review, appears on movie screens
for the first time with the Hartt
moniker, and has a nice
moment where she flirts, as the
last billed Teleprompter
Girl, with Stevens
squirrelly mad man.
Pink
Motel. 1983. This is how
t-an-a exploitation should be
done. Its cute, quick and the
vignette style keeps things
interesting. The script, is
sophomoric, often, of course, but
while this is no California
Suite, the eclectic and
talented cast commit to their
material as if it were Neil
Simons best and that keeps
this baby from drowning on
numerous occasions. Phyllis
Diller (The Boneyard, Maniac)
and Slim Pickens are
entertaining and bring some Old
Hollywood pizzazz, as they
play the bridge between the
segments, the owners of the
Pink Motel where
everything takes place. The
couples who check into the hotel
are two teenage sweethearts about
to lose their virginity, two
adulterers, an impotent football
star and his date and two
swingers with dates
that they have picked up at a
party. Hartt, at her most
gorgeous, is part of the last
equation. She and her main
co-star, Christopher S. Nelson,
do everything possible with their
material, and with perfect comic
timing, make some unoriginal
jokes shine. Nelson is not
afraid to make an ass out of
himself in more ways than
one and Hartt,
given her most screen time in an
wide ranging career, is a
beautiful scene partner, reacting
to and commenting on his actions,
so that the audience knows that
she thinks he is a buffoon, but
he never catches on. The segment
ends with an amusing twist that
shows that the men, whom appeared
to be controlling the situation,
were not so dominant, after all.
Perhaps, there was not enough
depth or extreme sexuality to
make this a cult classic like Porkys
or The Last American Virgin - but
this is still a step above most
late night cable programming and
deserves to be better known than
it is.
Deadly
Illusion.
1987. This fast
paced, slightly confusing, action
adventure isnt one of
writer/director, Larry Cohens,
best, but there is still enough
swift moving thrills to make it a
pleasant afternoons
diversion. Billy Dee Williams
has a ball as walking weapon and
lady-killer, Hamberger, and Vanity,
appearing as his partner in
crime, is cutely spunky and fun.
- I love, love, love Vanity!
Her performance in Memories of
Murder with Nancy Allen is really and truly chilling.
Check it out! Anyhow, Morgan
Fairchild, unlike her
above-reviewed role in The
Seduction, is back in bitch
territory and truly having a
great time being hideous. (But
not quite as hideous as the curly
black wig she sports,
occasionally, in this action
adven ture. I must say, it does
not become this glamorous lady
and when Williams tells
her she looks just as good with
it off as on, you can here the
sound of jaws dropping across
America!!) Cathyrn Hartt,
in one of her three films that
year, drops in to play the
glamorous country pone from
Cosmopolitan magazine. Mistaking Williams
for Reggie Jackson, Hartt is,
essentially, playing a more
sophisticated version of Eve, the
waitress from The Creature
from Black Lake, and she has
a ball. In an interesting note, Hartt
is not credited in the final
scroll, and while her role is
small, it is much larger than the
one she had in The Seduction,
where she did receive credit.
Flicks.
1987. I just found
out about this vignette comedy
that, also, features Pamela
Sue Martin. It supposedly
makes fun of commercials,
Saturday morning cartoons and
genre films. I plan to check it
out, ASAP, and will, hopefully,
weigh in with opinions at a later
date.
Open
House. 1987. This is a
kind of grim, back of the lot
type feature, but with genre
veterans galore and an almost
pornographic take on violence
it is one of my favorites
in the Cathryn Hartt
oeuvre. Pretty real estate agents
are being slaughtered in vicious
ways and poor real estate mogul, Adrienne
Barbeau, and her
boyfriend, radio shrink Joseph
Bottoms (Blind Date,
The Black Hole),
try to find out who is doing it
and why. Besides, Barbeau
and Bottoms roles,
there is little character
development and most of the
agents are introduced, for the
first time, upon entering the
houses where they will soon might
their demises. Still, there is
something about the over-the-top
nastiness of this enterprise that
appeals to me and there is enough
gruesomeness in the death scenes
to satisfy most gore hounds. Scott
Thompson Baker (Rest in
Pieces) comes to a vividly,
bloody end and 70s starlet, Tiffany Bolling (Kingdom
of the Spiders, The Wild
Party, Visions), also,
makes an appearance. Hartt,
meanwhile, plays Melody, one of
the surviving agents, who in her
enthusiasm to make a sale bungles
her way through language and
cultural barriers. She is comedic
relief, and once again, makes
very nice work of it. Her
reaction shots, upon finding a
murdered agent in the bathroom,
are when the filmmakers, truly,
begin their delightful
excessiveness, also. Her lo oks
of horror are shown from every
angle in juicy and melodramatic
flare, and for any actress, a
better genre film finale
even in a movie as badly
enjoyable as this one - would be
mighty hard to come by.
(Note:
Hartt, also, lists Logans
Run on her bio. I
believe that she is an extra in
that sci- fi classic, though, try
as I might, I cannot locate her
among the vast throngs of people
in that cast. If you want to
check out the rest of her films
Creature from
Black Lake, Futureworld,
The Seduction, Pink
Motel, Deadly
Illusion, Flicks
and Open House are
available, still, on VHS- mostly,
used, on Amazon.Com. Seniors,
as mentioned above, For
the Love of Benji and Logans
Run wherever
she may be- are all available on
DVD.)
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