Club Vampire (1998)


Written & Directed by: Andy Ruben


John Savage ... Zero
Starr Andreeff ... Corri
Mariam Parris ... Alko
Michael J. Anderson ... Kiddo
Diana Frank ... Laura
Ross Malinger ... Max
Viktoria Chapman ... Melanie

Release Date:  Direct-to-Video: October 27, 1998




A single mother and full time stripper at her local bar named Corri (Starr Andreef) can't seem to get her life together at all especially after she is bitten by a vampiress named Laura (Diana Frank) and left for the dead.
She meets up with a male vampire named Zero (John Savage) who introduces her to the vampire world and to survive as well as wanting her to join his vampire family which Laura is involved with and led by the nasty vampiress Alko (Mariam Parris) along with her assitatn who is a midget named Kiddo (Michael J. Anderson) but however they don't want Corri and her son Max (Ross Malinger) is in danger as well as both her and Zero so they try to find some way of killing this vampire club before they are killed.

There's an impressive opening with the lead character Zero sitting by the sunset at a beach but his narration sucks when he tells who he is.
There's some quick shots on strippers and night club goer's which psych's you out a bit in a cheesy and trashy way.
We have some close up shots on both Laura and Corri but however it looks so uninspired and terrible. What's also embarrassing is Laura was not convincing when she does something deadly. Plus it is extremely hokey when Zero has a vicious discussion towards Laura of what she did.
A dysfunctional situation between Corri and a young character named Max is so not believeable at all and very amateurish.
We also have a scene with Corri being attacked by some gang members on a corner street which looks like a Troma Team type direction at it's worst.
There's a real kooky moment with Alko talking to everyone in their room at the club not being satisfied with stuff which looked so dull.
There's also a fighting sequence with by Corri and Zero against the supporting characters Alko, Kiddo and Laura but it looks so sloppy and unconvinced as if the filmmakers was just doing a home video and told them to improvise all of this. 
There's such an annoying discussion between Zero and Corri when he introduces to her new lifestyle as a vampiress. There are some interesting camera shots on their romantic lustful scene together.
We spot a moment with Max trying to save his mother by unlocking a chain that's tied to her which is supposed to look touching during this moment but it looks terrible.
Bottom line is was this a terrible dark comedy or a horror as it was confusing to know just what. It's a mix of both with nothing good about this stinky piece of trash at all. Not the least bit scary and too scripted out with bad effects making the camera do most of the special effects which is sad folks. If you're looking for a so bad it's good film this isn't it.

These actors look like they got their talents from acting in a porn industry. John Savage (Max) as the heroic vampire is so wimpy with his words and character I wondered if he's actually for real???
Starr Andreef (Corri) as a single mother and stripper new to the vampire world was the best cast member but still she lacks.
She doesn't react too well to things like she's supposed to have been.
Mariam Parris
(Alko) tries to be the nasty vampiress but is a bore to watch.
There's a moment when she attacks someone and pulls out his tongue as I think to myself is this actually a dark comedy at it's worst talent???

Tons of this folks as there's many topless dancers at a strip bar.
Both Starr Adreef and Diana Frank both briefly expose their breasts while making out
Frank also exposes her breasts briefly during another lustful and romantic moment 

Some decapitated heads
Bloody gun shots and stabbings
A vampiress throw up her insides YUCK

There's some peaceful violin playing during the opening of the film as well as some sexy saxophone music during a lustful scene. There's also some lame piano pounding and bad synthesizer music all done by Michael Elliott

We have some songtracks performed by a female artist named Linda DeLisle Ruben who can't sing her way out of a wet paper bag.

Zero: I'm sorry I took so long I just had to get my head together