Joe, lets start off with a visual. Would you
please describe the room where you are answering
like to say it's a really cool dungeon looking
room full of S&M straps and disco
lights...but I can't. I'm answering these
questions sitting in my living room, on my couch.
I have a desk next to the couch with my CPU on
it. I have a wireless mouse and keyboard so I can
sit on my couch, recline, and do my thing on the
computer. I have a 53" widescreen HDTV in
front of me currently playing American Idol....
So how did a
guy from Rochester MN. grow up to appear in
horror flicks like 'Doomed to
Consume' and 'The
Horror Convention Massacre' and
write horror books like your novel
'Zombie Bukkake'. Were you always
drawn to the dark and twisted side of things?
grew up on horror. Most kids go see Disney movies
and shit. Not me. It was all about going to
drive-in and seeing slasher flicks. I remember
seeing Friday the 13th part 4 at least three
times at the theatre when I was eight. My parents
were good about letting me see what I wanted and
what I wanted was horror. I was drawn to it.
There's nothing like being scared. I couldn't get
enough. I'd cut pictures out of Fangoria and hang
them on my walls; I was reading Stephen King
books while in Elementary school. Some people
would probably think I was/am a little freaky and
I wouldn't disagree with them. Anyone who has
read my work knows that it's fucked up shit, but
I think freaky is good. You should never have to
feel like you have to be normal. There is no
normal. I found what my passion is (horror) and
my parents let me run with it. For that I thank
First off I'd
like to hear about your new movie 'Job'
about the murder of several priests at a boy's
camp. The fantastic cast includes Tony Todd,
Michael Pare, Michael Berryman, and Lee Perkins.
Can you give me a teaser for that movie that will
make it irresistible to the racks and razors
I'm excited about
'Job'. I've been attached to that project for a
while now and have been eagerly waiting for the
filming to begin. I just did a panel at the Texas
Fear Fest horror convention, which might I add
was a great time. If you're a horror fan in the
area defiantly attend the show next year. During
the show we did a Q&A for the movie. When it
was initially scheduled they had planned on
showing footage from the completed film. Because
of some scheduling conflicts the movie was put on
hold. I figured no one would come to the panel
since there really wasn't much to say. I couldn't
have been more wrong. There were many excited
fans wanting info on it. I should have known with
all the cool actors attached it would be that
way. Luckily the director of the film, John Gray,
found out a couple days before the show that
Demension films wanted in on the project I've
been told we will begin shooting in the next
three months and that Jonathan Davis from the
band Korn is still going to be playing the title
character. The script is fucking great. If you're
a fan of 80's style slasher movies then you'll
love it. It's a bloody, violent, unrelenting
horror film. Defiantly a hard "R"
movie. No PG-13 shit. Because of the religious
theme it's defiantly going to piss some people
off, which is good. Horror should never be
watered down and safe. I can't really go into
many details on the film but I can share what
it's about. "Job is about a group of priests
who run a summer camp for boys. They do some very
bad things. When there is an accident involving
one of the boys, Job, they try and cover it up.
Years later Job is back from the dead looking to
seek revenge on those who wronged him." I'm
playing Russ Martin, the head security guard for
the camp. It's a very cool role and I'm honored
to be a part of the project. I just met Lee
Perkins for the first time and wasn't really
familiar with his work. I checked out some of his
stuff. He's a great talent and a hell of a nice
guy. Top to bottom the people involved are just
Doll' with Lloyd Kaufman, Suzi
Lorraine, Elske McCain, and Melantha Blackthorne
sounds great as well. Why don't you tell me a
little bit about that moviemaking experience.
Doll hasn't been shot yet. I'm playing a
character named Bart. I'm a real shit in it. The
director, Tracy Crockett, is a friend of mine.
The ladies are all hot and I get a chance to work
with Don Prentiss again. I really enjoyed working
with him on Doomed to Consume. Both of us get to
play major assholes in the movie so it should be
alot of fun. It's a revenge tale so you know were
gonna do some horrible things.
also want to hear about your role as a zombie
mechanic in 'Doomed to Consume'
starring Nicole Blessing.
Stephenson and Jon Warner did an independent film
called Off the Beaten Path. I believe Brain
Damage films put that out. Anyway they had a
premiere for it in Minneapolis and I drove up to
check it out. I was impressed by the passion they
put into making the movie. They are horror fans
through and through. They told me about their
next movie, which turned out to be Doomed to
Consume. I told them I'd love to come up and play
a cameo in it. I was doing a book tour at the
time so I was only on set the one day. It was
bloody good fun. I got a wicked laceration effect
on my forehead that looks great. To me it
resembles a big gaping vagina overflowing with
crimson cunt sauce. My scene is short but I ended
up making it on the poster, DVD art and both
t-shirts. They encounter me while stopping for
gas. Most independent zombie movies are as much
comedy as horror. While there is some comedy,
candy bar, for the most part they played it
straight which I thought was really cool. They
just had 2 very successful theatrical showings in
Minneapolis with fans showing up dressed as
zombies. It doesn't get any cooler than that. I
was in Texas doing a signing so I missed both
showings. I know they are planning a couple more
so I will be attending at least one of them.
What's the key
to acting like a zombie?
it completely. Don't try to act too much or
you'll end up being a parody of the Romero
movies. Just go for it and for fucks sakes walk.
None of that running shit. Follow the four basic
principles: stumble around, groan, kill, eat.
So did the
movie roles grow out of your appearances and
networking at horror conventions...or did that
I've only been writing for a few years and didn't
know anyone. I bought a vendor table at Cinema
Wasteland in Ohio, it was the first horror
convention I had ever been to, and had so much
fun that I decided to do more. Each show I did I
got to know more and more people. I like to have
fun at the shows; I'm known for that as much as
my writing, so I blend in well. Connections were
made and I started getting movie roles, magazine
connections etc. If I hadn't taken a chance and
went to that first show I never would be where I
You've written four
very twisted books to date -- the short story
collections 'Twisted Loneliness'
and 'Sucked up Shit',
the novella 'Trapdoor',
and your novel 'Zombie Bukkake'.
What can we expect from you next on the writing
book is titled 'See you in Tea'. It's a novella
that's unlike anything I've done before. It's
still horror but it's much more quiet. It's not
full of all the nastiness I usually write. I'm
really interested in seeing the response to it.
It should be out in May. A detailed synopsis is
on my site. After that I have my choose your own
adventure book called 'Slashicide' coming out in
October. I grew up on those books and really
wanted to write a hardcore, gory, slasher
version. It's nasty and twisted. There are six
different endings depending on the path you take.
I've talked with Angela Bettis (May, Sick Girl)
about doing the intro. I think my fans will
definitely love it. Again you can read a detailed
synopsis on my site. Next year I'll have 2 new
novels out (Vampire Sanchez and Blood Friends)
and 2 new short story collections. There should
be info about them out soon. I have the cover art
for Vampire Sanchez posted on my site and it's
pretty fucking funny.
I am curious.
What's your main inspiration for your stories?
Where do all those insane ideas come from?
ideas are rooted in personal experiences in some
way. I take things around me and twist them. A
perfect example is my story Rubber Ducky from the
short story collection Twisted Loneliness. I was
in my bathroom taking a shit. While sitting I
noticed a rubber ducky sitting on the edge of the
bathtub. I combined shit and rubber duckys. I
wrote the story immediately after wiping and
flushing. Most of my work starts like that.
Little things around me. I have a vivid
imagination and a wicked sense of humor. I
sometimes giggle to myself as I type the
So Joe, should
we expect to see you writing some horror
screenplays in the future?
had a few offers but have been too busy to really
jump on board. I would really love the
opportunity to do something cool though and guess
it will happen very soon.
pulling the car into the Joe Knetter Drive In.
What three scare flicks are on the triple bill
tonight and what goodies are they going to be
serving up at the concession stand?
Day, Peter Jackson's Braindead, Texas Chainsaw
Massacre 2. They'd be serving nachos and pot
brownies. You need the pot brownies to fully
experience these movies. The nachos.... well....
I just think they are delicious.
What makes you
go psycho in real life?
I ran a quick service restaurant for years and
was constantly shocked by the vast amounts of
just plain dumb fucks there are out there.
Honestly I wonder how they can even get
themselves dressed in the morning. There wasn't a
day that went by that I didn't consider jumping
over the counter and pummeling someone.
you in real life?
They really freak me the fuck out. All you have
to do is read my story "Spider webs" to
see that. Other than that, goats. When I was 7 or
8 I was at a fair in a petting zoo. All of a
sudden a goat charged me, connecting squarely
with my balls. My sack was ripped open. There's
nothing like a bloody scrotum to instill