The Halfway House (2004)

Executive Produced Written & Directed by: Kenneth J. Hall


.... Larissa Morgan
.... Sister Cecelia
.... Sgt. Dick Sheen
.... Cherry Pie Pulowski
.... Angelena
.... Eddie
.... Father Fogerty
.... Inspector Hinds
Tomi X .... Sheila
.... Shelby
.... Lutkus

Release Dates: San Francisco Independent Film Festival: February 14, 2004; Valley Film Festival: December 14, 2004




Larissa Morgan (Janet Tracy Keijser) realises her sisters been missing for 3 days and goes undercover at Mary Magdalen Halfway House for Troubled Girls to find her but realises that something evil and monstrous is behind he Catholic-run institution.


Man oh man I was expecting a no budgeter when I was interested in checking out this dud but didn't realise that it was going to be incredibly as bad as I expected. The beginning shows a girl jogging and being kidnapped as well as her being stripped down in a dungeon for a sacrifice which I was thinking typical for a film like this offering skin. But then a monster comes charging at her for it's feast which is the only good things about this flick since this monster defientely looked like a paying tribute to those old fashioned types.
Then Larissa Morgan goes to a detective headquarters to get some help for her missing sister and there's stupid sarcastic talk between Inspector Hinda and Sgt. Dick Sheen and chauvinist remarks which was all terribly done and this was as bad as it gets trust me on that big time! Right away I knew it was going to get worst and it does.
Dick tries to help her out later on and yet they don't get any success and wishes he could do something to make it up for her. Next you realise they are in bed together lusting with bad writing involved it was amateurishly done big time and the scene's were more focused on the sex scene's in this one as well as during other situations later on while we continue to watch this story unfold.
Larissa goes undercover to the Halfway House for Troubled Girls in which the Nun Sister Celia acts pleasant but tells her if she screws up she will make her life a living hell as I must admit that this moment was mildly funny.
Then she meets the troubled girls and the head bitch Angelena causes trouble with alot of bad writing within her threats which wasn't funny to watch at all but yet the main dyke Eddie sticks up for Larissa as was in a mediocre fashion.
Then more sex scene's and stuff like that with more badly done situations as well as a preacher Father Fogerty acting like a dork in many scene's as well we catch him ready some dirty magazines which is not funny at all and making me wonder if this was a mockery of Jimmy Swaggart.
However there is a nice serious moment when Larissa discovers Cherry in a changing room on what happened to her butt and tries to talk to her about the situations going on which looked fairly well done but that was about it.
Also a nice dark shot on Inspector Hinds going down in what looks like a dungeon to find out what's going on as it does have a nice horror touch to this along with him hearing some beast breathing and then getting attacked by Lutkus with a deadly weapon in which I will give a nod to this as it was done in nice style. Still the rest of the story was annoying to watch.
More sacrifices are happening with this monster going in on feasting these lustful girls as the beast is the real drawing card the rest is crap of course.
What catches me by surprise is when Cherry comes on to Larissa and she makes a move on to her too. I was thinking is Larissa bisexual or just sitting on a fence?!
The final moments occur when Larissa tries to save the day when this involves the beast as well as Sister Cecelia having a deep dark secret at that dungeon which really doesn't look exciting to watch at all apart from that monster and what it does later on munching someone away. Then I was looking forward to seeing the closing credits.
Bottom line is that this film is so bad I had a hard time sitting all the way through it all. Kenneth J. Hall has a reputation for making movies so bad it's good but this one was amateurish trash and a disappointment in which was a paying tribute to those H.P. Lovecraft's flicks but you could sure fool me. It was of course a parody to those exploited horror flicks. But c'mon seriously make it funny which it isn't nor is it scary either. Avoid this one at all costs.

The acting is terrible as it looks like the cast had experience working in the porn industry in which (Larissa Morgan) was supposed to come off as a tough as nails no nonsense type but she just couldn't get into it at all. She was over the top with what she did and was incredibly rusty with her aggressions. She was terribly wooden and needed acting lessons.
(Sister Cecelia) was the best out of the cast and was a good actress in which she stole the show. She was mildly funny within whatever she had to do as well as showing a nice calm attitude. Plus was great by showing a stern behavior or acting wicked and evil which she shows a nice versatality within all of this.
(Sgt. Dick Sheen) had the brawny clean cut looks and appeal to play this type of role but of course was stiff with his words and tried hard to get into character but fails like the rest of the cast members. Sorry but he doesn't cut it.
(Cherry Pie Pulowski) seems to come off as someone whom is shy and helpless but again was a little lacking into getting into her role. She seems to stand out in certain spots when acting troubled but slopes in other spots.
(Angelena) plays an arrogant bad ass and almost cuts it even if her lines were terribly written in which she was okay with her strong personality but yet when she screams or freaks out she bombs big time as it was beyond amateurish.
(Eddie) was pretty good in her role as a butchy dyke with a good hearted attitude. Was a nice force of nature by what she did and knew on how to act tough whenever necessary. Had the perfect looks for this role as this was another plus to her part.
(Father Fogerty) was way too silly in his role and I don't mean entertainingly silly. He was just too much by what I saw him do and can't seem to come off seriously within his aggressions or stern behavior whenever he had to behave like this at all. Sorry but he doesn't cut it.
(Inspector Hinds) was incredibly annoying by how he portrayed a douchebag in the story as his acting was terrible. I found him to be one of the worst out of the cast as I was glad that he gets killed off in the movie. He's not meant for this type of industry.

Plenty of nudity as tops are torn off revealing their breasts before this monster eats these victims.
Breast and butt shot on someone fornicating in bed
Lesbian sex scene with breasts showing off big time
Girl bare breasted fornicating in a convertible
Changing room scene with many breast shots
Top is torn off when three girls pin someone down breasts revealed

Persons insides are spilled out after being cut with an electric saw
Head is chopped off
Machette is impaled through a guys chest
Hand is chopped off by garden shears

The music was lamely composed by Atom Smith with lame synthesizer effects for the hissing sounds and other moments like that along with some techno music sounds as well which annoyed me. In a certain spot there's some effective deep fast paced piano playing but that was about it.

Larissa: Get away from her you bitch!