Dracula 3000 (2004)

   

Directed by: Darrell Roodt

Written by: Ivan Milborrow & Darrell Roodt

Starring:

Casper Van Dien ...  Capt. Abraham Van Helsing
Erika Eleniak ... Aurora Ash
Coolio ... 187
Alexandra Kamp-Groeneveld ... Mina Murry
Grant Swanby ... Arthur "The Professor" Holmwood
Langley Kirkwood ... Orlock
Tommy 'Tiny' Lister ... Humvee
Udo Kier ... Capt. Varna

Release Date:
 
Estepona horror film festival: August 1, 2004

 

Rating:

 

It is the year 3000 and the deep space salvage ship Mother III locates the vanished starship Demeter in the Carpathian System. 
They all go to discover it as they find a skeletal corpse along with some coffins filled with sand. They also see a tape of fifty years ago of Captain Varna (Udo Kier) telling that he was locked in his cabin since his crew was acting weird after getting a cargo of coffins in Transylvania station.
One of the crew members named 187 (Coolio) tries to look around in the coffin for some possible hidden dope but cuts his hand and his blood drips on some sand in one of the coffins as something comes to life which named Count Orlock (Langley Kirkwood) as 187 becomes his victim and becomes a vampire.
One of the leaders of the ship named Aurora Ash (Erika Eleniak) explains to the people that Count Orlock is a vampire but none of the crew even knew what a vampire is until she explains it to them so they all must try to survive and destroy Orlock and anyone who becomes his victim.

 

During the beginning of the film the opening credits and showing computerised descriptions of the people on board of the ship looked way too long and needed to shorten it big time. It made me wonder if this was an excuse for a time waster. Yet afterwards we have some good shots on Aurora Ash wandering through the halls of another space ship and a shadow figure running by. The settings of the space crafts looked interesting.
However, footage involving Capt. Varna by talking to a camera warning people what's on board was very dull and uninspired. Plus this character pops up in other scene's too which seemed confusing as to what he's talking about.
When the crew goes to the mysterious ship there's some arguments with one another in which the timing was half decent also made me want to tell one of the others off too.
When they enter inside the ship they spot coffins with sand inside of it. Then one of the crew's hand bleeds with nice close of shots on the blood dripping in the sand. This somewhat left a nice touch that the terrors will unleash but trust me folks it's not as terrifying when the moments happens and you will see why later on if I dare you to watch this dud.
In another part of the ship the crew discovers a wall full of crucifix's. A nice touch to an outerspace vampire flick but no gold star.
The crew finds a corpse in an operating room as this seemed necessary to have in the flick revealing some living thing was killed later on but the corpse looked of course it looked fake. A good shot on 187's hand about to touch it and Aurora screams not to touch it which has a strong effect to this scene.
187 dies in the flick and becomes a born vampire in which there's nice close up shots on his wild eyes and fangs. The scene's with him looks energetic but however when he admits to being a vampire and other situations like that it looked terribly silly and extremely uninspired.
187 meets his master which is Orlock and believe me his master doesn't look scary at all. Plus he wears a dated Count Dracula outfit which the costume designers could've put more effort into a futuristic story like this one. It looked terribly silly. Same with their interactions as it doesn't look dark as it was intended to be.  
Orlock meets Aurora and softly touching Aurora looked too planned out and corny. However his soothing attitude seems to work better. The moments made me watch carefully as to what is going to happen to her.
There is a descent scene with Aurora telling everyone who this person that came on board is and what a vampire is. However, the writing for this and so fourth was corny, unoriginal and obvious.
187 bangs on a steel door pleading to be let in and saying he's fine in which Aurora tells Humvee not to open it. Most lame brained people in a horror flick wouldn't trust someone on the other end but not this fellow. Boy is he stupid!!!!
There's a nice cold dialogue between Orlock and Abraham showing some mist too.
Although Orlock's outfit looked too dated this character shows a good cold confronting moment towards Capt. Abraham Van Helsing as to who he is and his plans. I must admit that this moment looked fair but not enough to save the story from bombing.
Plus a cold feeling with Orlock towards Arthur "The Professor" Holmwood tempting him to walk again as his character is in a wheelchair and offering his hand as that setting looked quite good.
Towards the end of the film there's a nice and peaceful discussion between Aurora and Humvee.
Bottom line: A low budgeter that tried to almost borrow a bit from Alien but having a vampire on board instead of a creature. It's pointless with alot of low production values. It seemed at first being an interesting story of a spaceship picking up another abandoned one with vampire coffins but it's a disappointment regardless. Count Dracula as mentioned looks very dated in the old uniform with the cape and all like you'd see in a film from the 1940's which makes a film like this look extremely corny.

The acting is not as bad as it seems. Casper Van Dien (Capt. Abraham Van Helsing) seems to do okay playing the head captain of the ship by showing a tough and stern attitude. He's okay acting anxious towards someone else and pointing a gun at them. Plus seems to shine off when acting a bit arrogant in which he does powerfully.
Former Baywatch TV star Erika Eleniak (Aurora Ash) seemed to pull off her character quite decently believe it or not showing quite a good character to her part. Offers a nice no bullshit sarcastic behavior in many spots of the film. Also seems to do well to sweet talk someone in a scene out of untying her as she shows good bluntness. 
Rapper Coolio (187) brought quite a bit of pizzaz and humor to his part of the film making him a nice character actor as the first victim to Dracula and becoming his servant showing great dynamic energy. Does well springing into action as a vampire jumping around and attacking. He shows some good humor when someone points a shotgun towards him.
Grant Swanby (Arthur "The Professor" Holmwood) as a professor in a wheelchair couldn't act his way out of a wet paper bag though as he is so mellodramatic. Yet his intensity and timid actions seemed to work onto the camera within his performance while behaving that way. Nothing to brag about at the same time as I said he was terrible.
Tommy 'Tiny' Lister (Humvee) stood out the most of all the cast members as a sarcastic one liking to goof off bringing his character off well to the public. Seems to pull it off by acting like a jerk off. He for sure made you want to slap him.
Although Langley Kirkwood (Orlock) looked dated as the Count Dracula character, he still seemed to know how to portray that type of character during most of the time in this film. He shows an okay soothing and tempting attitude so he did the best that he could do with his role.

Sharp objects are stabbed through many vampires chests.
Orlock's arm is chopped off by a steel door.

There's some effective rusty metal sounds used in the film along with some plain stale classical music as it offers trombone and other adventureous sounds which sounds like it was ripped off of a synthesizer all put together by Michael Hoenig. Trust me folks it's nothing too special.

Aurora Ash: You guys are so funny I don't know what to do with myself.

187: I want to watch my anaconda spit all over your snow white ass.