The
below are a sampling of reviews
of horror and suspense films that
have been cropping up like
rodents since the onslaught of
DVD madness. Most of these are
available, quite cheaply, on DVD
though two were reviewed
off of old video rentals
and if you are not expecting too
much, like me, you just might
have a ball watching these,
occasionally creepy, but mainly
creaky, things. Hell, you, also,
might find some old childhood
favorites! Brian Kirst

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I
picked this up, cheap, $5.99 at
Best Buy, because I have been
going through a Pamela Sue
Martin (Dynasty,
Nancy Drew Mysteries)
phase. This 1987 television flick
arrived too late I was
already almost 19 and in college-
to have a childhood nostalgic
reaction for me upon re-viewing
it. This one about an
urban couple buying a home on a
mysterious island- is pretty
goofy, as you might assume, and
it truly makes no sense to me why
Martin would remain on an
island she, obviously, dislikes,
from the start, when the screwy
things like her best
friends death- start
happening. That being said the
bit of atmosphere and the few
chills that occur in this flick
happen because she stays and
starts to inquire about the
strange goings on (and I just
loved watching Martin skulk
around and do her investigative
thing), but not even the
interesting cast which includes Leave
it To Beavers Barbara
Billingsly going bad, Woody
Harrelson as the above
mentioned best friend, L.A.
Laws Susan Ruttan,
Taxi and B-movie staple Jeff
Conaway as Ruttans
husband (The two, as a couple,
are scarier, in fact, than the
rest of this tame thriller put
together) and Soaps Inga
Swenson without the accent,
can quite give this, in my book,
the oomph or camp value it needs
to survive as a minor television
movie classic. Still, once the
assembled cast gather, together,
in their dark red hooded robes
and begin to hunt down Martin,
there is a sense of priestly
creepiness and, as a point of
interest, Tim Matheson
plays Martins lover
and it is role that is very
similar to that of his in the
1984 feature film Impulse.
Impulse is a childhood
nostalgic favorite of mine and
offers a bit more violence,
suspense and nudity (Mathesons
bare ass, for anyone that cares)
than this timid exercise- and
that should be sought out by
anyone looking for B
and make sure that
youre aware that
B is the operative
word - suspense movies about
mysterious goings on in rural,
isolated areas.

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This
1991 USA Movie version of The
Most Dangerous Game pretty
much reads, from the box cover
alone, Dont expect
much from me, Im Just a
Little Time Waster! and if
you go into this with that
expectation, you should have a
pretty good time with this fast
paced action-thriller. The people
whom you expect to survive, do
and the people you know
will die, do, too. The antagonist
is easy to figure out pretty
early on, but it is a hoot to see
the 30-plus Marc Singer,
of too many genre films to
mention, and Knots Landings
John Pleshette, a friend
of scream queen Lynn Lowry,
play high school football players
in a flashback scene. In a nice
change of pace, the perpetually
hero-playing Singer is an
annoying pompous ass that you
hope will expire, quickly, while Jenny
Seagrove, villainous star of
the bizarre and,
henceforth, a favorite- horror
flick The Guardian, puts
on her good girl clothes here,
and along with Michael Beck,
attempts to defeat the baddie. Roddy
McDowall, a current favorite,
is along for the ride and part of
a neat surprise reveal at the
end. There is some nice violence
including death by Doberman and a
fantastic exploding head
which I am assuming was added to
the video release to spice it up
for its R rating. All in all,
this dirty gem is a hoot and a
holler, if youve got the
quarter to spare.

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There
is a lot of build-up and
background information given in
this, at first, thoughtful, but
occasionally slow moving killer
bee flick. But, once the bees
truly start attacking the main
family, headed by Airplanes
Robert Hays and Matlocks
Nancy Stafford, then this
becomes a worthwhile and rather
suspenseful nature gone
wild horror television
movie offering. The producers try
too hard to make us take the
threat of killer bees seriously,
but Fade to Blacks Dennis
Christopher gives a truly
amazing performance as an
incredibly eccentric bee lover
and pretty boy Ryan Phillippe
glams way down as
a frumpy haired, goatee sporting
local hood whose anger causes the
penultimate attack of the nasty,
killing stingers. A pre-Jeepers
Creepers Gina
Phillips appears as the
eldest daughter of Stafford and
Hays and while she
commits, totally, to her
performance, the role allows her
none of the spunk and wit that
were so engaging in Creepers.
Still, I was actually surprised a
number of times in this effective
presentation and would,
especially, recommend it to
anyone who loves their horror and
suspense laced with seemingly
true-to-life catastrophes of
science and nature.

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I
had been debating about picking
this up for awhile because it
looked interesting and starred Megan
Ward whom I have loved since
her appearance in early 90s
genre films like Crash and
Burn and Amityville
92. I, finally, found
it used and it wasnt until
I brought it home that I realized
it was a 1998 made for television
film. I truly got swept up in
this one, though. I was going to
view it slowly over a handful
days, but wound up watching it
much more quickly because I was
enjoying it so much. Honestly,
the ending severely let me down,
though, turning what was an
effective suspenseful and
emotional drama with serious
supernatural overtones into a
very routine made for television
thriller. But until then- I truly
loved this, in name only,
production of Wes Cravens.
Ward, effectively, plays
Carla, a woman who develops
severe acrophobia and begins
having haunting visions after her
sisters death from a great
fall. She joins a radical support
group, led by Steppenwolf
Theaters Terry Kinney,
to get to the bottom of her
problem. Of course, murder and
mayhem ensue. Kinney and
the actors who play his patients
Angela Moore, William
McDonald, Kate Robbins
and Aaron Smolinski (Wishmaster
3)- all give amazing
performances and they bring this
production to much greater
heights no pun intended-
than it, otherwise, might have
reached. This 85% effective - in
my estimation - production, also,
features Billy Burke from Komodo
and Tara Spencer-Nairn, as
Wards sister, whom
went on to appear as the heroine
in 2002s Wishmaster 4:
Prophecy Fulfilled.

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I
picked this up because I have
been amazed by the number of
direct to DVD suspense and horror
flicks that Dean Cain has
done since Lois and Clark
folded and I had decided to
collect them all to do a feature.
Unfortunately or more,
realistically, fortunately- this
telefilm with Scream 2s
(and Ally McBeal and Arrested
Development star) Portia
De Rossi, Barney Millers
Hal Linden and Dina
Meyer is the only one that I
have watched so far. This is a
decent timewaster with a great
performance from De Rossi
and a pretty good one from Cain
about a classy apartment building
full of energetic senior citizens
who drain the energy from their
younger tenants to live,
eternally, young. While this does
have classic echoes of such films
as Rosemarys Baby, The
Sentinel and Burnt
Offerings, there is little
creepiness or suspense on display
here mostly just a lot of
style and solid performances. I
had a great time watching the
classy Meyer be devious
and if you like that mysterious
urban house milieu of horror,
this might be a nice and
cheap, $5.99 at Best Buy- bet for
you.

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This
was a huge horror television
event when I was a freshman in
high school because it marked All
My Children star and daytime
drama legend Susan Luccis
entrance into primetime
television. Directed by horror
maestro, Wes Craven, I,
finally, caught up to this flick
this Fall. It probably
wasnt worth over 20 years
can you believe it!?!
of waiting, but still
there are enough cool moments and
crazy Lucci hairstyles,
make-up and fashions to make this
a minor horror camp classic. The
opening, with Lucci being
run over by a limo driver,
popping, immediately, cardboard
figure style, back up and then
frying the poor guy to death with
a sizzling stare and a out raised
hand, has got to be the best
opening of any television movie I
have ever seen and makes the
movie worth its existence
for that scenario, alone. The
plot deals with eternal loser, Robert
Urich, finally, scoring an
important job in a small town
with a buddys help. Of
course, when he arrives with
eager to be successful wife, Joanna
Cassidy and kids, he finds
everyone pushing him to join The
Club in town run by Lucci,
whom appears to be a close friend
of Satans. For horror film
fans, besides Cravens
involvement, there is a
supporting appearance from
original Bad Seed and Mommy,
Mommy 2, Bug and Saturday
the 14th
Strikes Back Again star Patricia
McCormack and Punky
Brewsters Soleil
Moon Frye (whom pre-Sabrina,
the Teenage Witch had a
mini-Scream Queen career with
roles in the Piranha
remake and Pumpkinhead 2)
does a Linda Blair impersonation
at one point, that is
off-the-wall and just might freak
you out and leave you laughing.
There is, actually, a decent bit
of plotting and build-up in this,
but it is all blown apart by a
ridiculous and out-of-the-blue
ending that not even the sight of
Cassidy in a fright
get-up, pounding the keyboards of
a piano, relentlessly, in Hell
her character is a
musician- can quite make up for.
Yes, folks, in true TV style, it
seems that love, alone, lambasts Luccis
luscious lasciviousness. (Still,
this is definitely worth it, if
this was a childhood favorite or
if, like me, youve never
seen it before - because this is
another cheapy
selling for $5.99 or 2 for $10 in
many drugstores.)

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I
absolutely love and adore Nancy
Allen, but sometimes she is
not the most effective actress in
every role that she is cast in.
In this Lifetime television movie
from the early 90s, she is
quite believable as a respectable
single mom whom wakes one morning
remembering only her past life of
sleazy bars and low life con
jobs. It seems, wandering,
aimlessly, with amnesia from a
traumatic event landed her in the
burbs with a new husband, Robin
Thomas (from Amityville:
Dollhouse) and his daughter.
As she fights to remember her
past and balance out her present,
she re-encounters Vanity
as a ruthless and betrayed hit
woman whom has been searching for
Allen for years. Vanitys
character begins to murder people
from Allens past and
threatens to take over her
present life with Thomas
and kid. I dont know what
it is, but Vanity actually
chilled me to the bone in this
thing. She has ice and fire in
her eyes and is truly menacing
and scary. Thomas, also,
does admirable work as a
confused and, alternatively,
supportive and angry man. There
are some typical TV movie ticks
and quirks de lame, but overall
this was a captivating timewaster
and perfect for those seemingly
endless 2 a.m. insomnia
freak-outs when, in frustration,
you just need to escape.

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This
is an extremely outdated, but
thoroughly enjoyable early
70s television movie murder
mystery. Anyone who loved shows
like Love Boat and Fantasy
Island and/or the Airport movie
series, should get a nostalgic
kick out of this. Besides, Polly
Bergen is pure
hoot as an acerbic
mystery writer paired with Latino
superstar Fernando Lamas,
who may or may not be a suave,
and at large, crook. Truthfully,
I revisited this mainly because
of Farrah Fawcetts
participation - and because of
the $1.99 price tag at a local
Walgreens Drugstore but
its not a bad timewaster
and anything that features a very
young Brooke Adams (Shock
Waves, Invasion of the
Body Snatchers, The Unborn),
an overacting and over serious Robert
Stack, a prepubescent Danny
Bonaduce (Partridge Family)
and a hard to take realistically,
but still sexy (believe it or
not!) Sonny Bono
cant be too unworthy of a B
movie fans time. Besides,
this is fast moving with a lot of
suspects and a few surprises
along the way.

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I
picked up this incredibly cheap
DVD part of a 2 for $3 deal
from Treasure Box Collection-
after my work shift on
Thanksgiving Day, got myself a
turkey sandwich and collapsed on
my couch in front of the TV. This
has been repackaged from,
Im assuming, a short lived
1987 series or a pilot called Tales
from the Hollywood Hills, to
look like a crime drama or
mystery thriller. In fact,
its a quite well done
treatise on the price of fame and
success in Hollywood- from an
actresss and a Studio
Heads standpoints. The main
story of the two episodes
included- is based on a John
OHara story and features an
excellent performance from Michelle
Pfeiffer as a spoiled actress
on the rise who learns a tragic
lesson of the heart. Supported
ably by Brian Kerwin, Holland
Taylor and Hector
Elizondo, Pfeiffer proves why
she has gone onto superstardom
and award nominations. In the
second scenario of the two, which
in this re-imagined concept, are
melded together, genre vet Darren
McGavin plays a studio head
on his way down. This is the
weaker story, but the amazing
cast makes up for it. Moonrakers
Lois Chiles, Scarfaces
Steven Bauer, Nightmare
on Elm Street 2 and Hellraiser:
Bloodlines Kim Myers,
T and A and exploitation goddess Stella
Stevens, performance artist Ann
Magnuson, Twin Peaks
Sherilyn Fenn, my favorite
Broadway Darling and Spiderman
2, Star Trek Insurrection star
Donna Murphy, soap actor Frank
Runyeon and Its a
Living (a pre-high favorite)
co- star Earl Boen, all,
appear in this segment, making it
a feast for the queer and
otherwise- star lovers
eyes. This may not be what you
expect from the cover art, but
for $1.50, it might well be worth
your time, especially if you are
a fan of Old Hollywood, to
purchase the next time you are
wandering around at your local
drugstore or mini-mart.

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This 1977 flick was a favorite as
a kid. This is campy,
semi-violent fun, riding high on
the 70s fascination with
the legend of the Bigfoot
monster, featuring scared ski
bunnies flying down dangerous
slopes, a winter beauty queen
collapsing in the snow upon
finding her recently decapitated
momma and the
penultimate performance from the
powerful, gruff voiced and still
sexy screen icon, Sylvia
Sydney. My favorite moment is
when a trampled upon Sydney howls
out, for her only concern,
The Crown, the crown!
reserved for the above mentioned
carnival queen, as people
stampede across it, trying to get
out of a crowded gymnasium where
the Snowbeast has attacked. There
are great shots of a huge puffy
white hand with claws bearing
down on the faces of its
victims as the screen fades to
splattered red, heartfelt and
committed performances from Walking
Talls Bo Svenson,
Yvette Mimieux (from my
ultimate childhood favorite, Devil
Dog: Hound of Hell) and Robert
Logan, who starred in a
series of kid oriented adventure
movies that I loved and
whos finest screen moment
has to be forcing a sobbing Christopher
Atkins to strip at gunpoint
in 1983s A Night in
Heaven. There is not a lot of
explicit violence shown
but whats done is pretty
gruesome and effective,
especially considering the era it
was produced in and I get
still get chills every time I
watch the scene where Logan
tells sheriff Clint Walker
that hell be able to
identify a female victim once he
sees her face and Walker replies,
solemnly, She doesnt
have one. This is available
on a single disc with 3 other
flicks on Platinums Horror
Classic series. Its not great
quality, but it gets the job done
well enough.

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Its a time investment, but
I truly enjoyed the first season
of this often creative, sometimes
incredibly floundering Fox T.V.
series. I truly felt there might
have been another year or two
left in this thing, but it looks
like the plug has been pulled
before the 6 episodes, filmed for
the Second season, will even air.
Thats too bad. There is a
lot of potential here especially
with the villainous addition of Jason
Priestly toward the end of
the season. The brilliant Eliza
Dushku plays Tru, a med
student who finds herself, by a
twist of fate, working in a
morgue where she discovers that
the dead can ask for her help to
save their lives. Her day rewinds
and she must race against time to
carry out the dead persons
request. Dushku is
wonderful, but part of the
problem might have been the fact
that Tru, while
plucky, soulful and resourceful
is nowhere near as interesting or
unique as Faith the
character she created on Buffy,
the Vampire Slayer.
Obviously, Dushku
cant play the same
character forever, but look at
how hard it is for many actors to
reprise a previous television
success- especially immediately
after the cancellation of the
show one is best known for.
Still, the show had a lot going
for it and features many suspense
and horror movie-like situations
the dorm party gone
deadly, the bloody high school
reunion and the Valentines
Day serial killer. There are many
interesting guest stars including
television genre icon Hudson
Leick whom, as the
first victim, was featured every
episode in the opening credits
a cushy weekly gig if I
ever saw one, Freddy Vs. Jasons
Jesse Hutch, Melrose
Places Laura
Leighton, American Idols
Tamara Gray, Port Charles hottie
and current commercial king Eddie
Matos, former Bold and the
Beautiful regular and
important final season of Buffy
guest star Courtnee Draper
and Halloween H20 and Devil
in the Flesh 2 star Jodi
Lyn OKeefe. I, also,
loved the regular cast which
included new genre icon A.J.
Cook ( Wishmaster 3, Ripper
and Final Destination 2), Loving
sweetie, Lois and Clark villain
and Leprechan 4 star Jessica
Collins (whom many ripped
apart as the series ran
and she does leave the cast about
halfway through the season- but,
let it be noted, that I LOVED
her), Guiding Lights
humpy Matthew Bomer and
newcomers Shawn Reaves
amazing as Trus
trouble prone brother and
the outstandingly unusual Zach
Galifianakis as Trus
perceptive and concerned
employer. As noted above, this
was a first year series, so there
is some stumbling along the way,
but, overall, this is definitely
worth a look- even if the show,
unfortunately, is not returning
for a second go around.

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Someone
is killing off the reporter
men-folk of a small town after
they receive threatening phone
calls delivered- you guessed it
by someone whispering.
There is actually some nice
suspense and atmosphere at work
here and Loni Anderson is
at her big, blonde busty best as
the heroine with the mysterious
past. She commits to her part
fully, if not totally believably,
and has decent chemistry with her
co-star, Joe Penny (Bloody
Birthday). Penny, for
his part, is appropriately
grizzled as a down-on-his-luck
newsman who is trying to solve
the crimes. In fact, this is a
perfect early morning
veg out movie when
you have nothing else to do and
dont want to think too
much. Which is exactly when I
watched it and, in fact,
why I bought it. (And its
cheap! I got it, brand new, in a
double pack with Ed
McBains 87th
Precinct from Simitar for $3)
The filmmakers actually do a nice
job setting up Andersons
character as the killer
providing lots of interesting
background info and motive.
Unfortunately, all the other
suspects are given short shrift
in this department, so the
killers reveal, while,
perhaps, not unsurprising, does
seem rushed and somewhat
disconnected with the rest of the
piece. (This seems to be the case
with many suspense/horror
television movies to me. There is
a lot of great background
build-up, but the endings often
seem hurried and from out of left
field, as a result.) Also
We, actually, witness, as
viewers, three of the murders, in
their entirety. They consist of
just a couple of rushed slashes
at the victims body with a
knife before the victim falls,
dead, and the killer runs,
quickly, away. Then the
coroner informs Anderson
and Penny that the bodies
have been severely butchered by
the killer. As far as weve
seen and the audience has
seen it all happen - this is
definitely not the case. This
film is not done in the style of
B-Movie camp so, in this case, I
dont find a flaw like that
amusing. It is actually important
in understanding the mindset of
the killer that the bodies be
incredibly traumatized, in our
minds, and it would have been so
simple to fix with a cut away
once the killer starts attacking.
Then, the severity of what
happened could be left to our
imagination and we could actually
buy whatever they told us about
the condition of the bodies. It
seems like this film was meant,
for us, to be taken seriously by
the producers and this error does
distract from the
realness of the
events. Still, this is worth a
look, if you are in that right
frame of mind and it might
even be quite comforting to some
especially if you really
hate your momma!
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