Hide and Creep (2004)

   

Produced & Directed by: Chuck HartsellChance Shirley

Written by: Chance Shirley

Starring:

.... Chuck
.... Michael / Lee
.... Keith
.... Ted
.... Ned
.... Reverend Smith
.... Barbara

Release Date: Sidewalk Moving Picture Festival: September 23, 2004

 

Rating:

 

Zombies are invading a small county with newsreporters trying to figure stuff out as to how to stop them and a small group of people try to stick together in order to survive this but some of them seem to turn as well.

 

The beginning of the story looked oddly amusing as we spot a video rental store and customers asking for certain zombie movies and they are rented out as during this period VHS wasn't big for renting since DVDs were the main thing but it was a nice memory on video stores so it made me wonder if the story somewhat took place in the 90's or so and not that present day. However the discussions looked very stale and off.
Plus more stupid situations trying to look funny but fails like a fellow Michael lying there with nothing but his shirt on in the woods and he tries to find some way to make it back but finds it hard being almost naked which I thought looked totally lame to watch the outcome of this scene.
Then there's a situation with the employee at the rental shop Chuck checking to see what he had heard and goes over to check it all out as this was supposed to make you wonder if something creepy is about to happen but this doesn't give you the chills at all and then he gets attacked by a zombie as the make up effects looked terribly amateurish which the filmmakers needed to have a better budget since this is cheap looking grease paint on the zombie as I'm not kidding you nor does this moment looke suspenseful or believeably struggling at all.
More stupid one liners when a group of rednecks lead by Keith goes into the wooded area and spots some zombies feasting on a dead body and he tells them they're on private property and discovered they're from the dead and ask each other if they have a gun or any other weapons in order to survive and they don't which looked incredibly silly and not in a good way.
However there's a bit of an improvement with Reverend Smith in his cathedral being taken by surprise on a female zombie biting his hand as well as good shots on others rising up surrounding him which offers some okay horror timing but not enough to save this clunker from bombing.
Another nice pointer is that we have a hand coming up from the grave and grabbing onto a sheriff's leg as well as some zombies creeping up at the graveyard offering a nice touch to the story.
Also a nice moment when Reverend Smith argues with one of his neighbors for stealing her whiskey and then attacks her which seems like a different moment on someone slowly turning into a zombie but yet is still acting human from time to time but this is nothing to really brag about either.
We also spots one of the rednecks trying to eat his hand as this hints he's becoming a zombie but this looked totally dumb minded in which I rolled my eyes thinking things are becoming more and more lame as well as looking forward for this film to finally end.
Then there's a supermarket with the manager announcing the store is still open even if zombies are invading the town and being alert as to who will come into the store as they spot someone who they think is a zombie and trying to snuff him which was moronic big time and you will see what I mean if I dare you to watch this flick. Very unfunny.
However there's another scene which looked like a strip joint with the rednecks coming in and trying to do battle as we see some zombies eating one another and their thirst for blood which shows a nice focus on two female zombvies licking one another. Now some of you may think that this situation is a time waster as I'm right but it looked more entertaining than what the story had beforehand. During these moments there's a situation which is an attention grabber when Keith turns off the lights which prevents these zombies from approaching him which is a new twist for a flick like this but nothing orginal either and pretty stale.
One of the best moments I need to admit is when Chris tries to figure stuff out near the graveyard with other two people trapped by zombies roaming around as he tries to save the day to make those two people get to their vehicle and blasting away some of them in which this was a mediocre heroic type of vibe only for a tragic moment to happen which looked mildly convincing.
Then more lame moments with Reverend Smith preaching at his church about zombies and other lame stuff that I couldn't understand whatsoever. This was another time waster.
Yet clever moments when Keith goes to his home to see if his family is okay and is caught by surprise by a zombie approaching as well as what we may think a family member shooting someone only to get a zombie creeping up on this fellow as this looked quite slick to watch.
The film ends when things are still happening as the makers seemed terribly unorganised by how they wrote this in which we should all expect something before the credits roll up even if things are to be continued since those even show an ending and this one doesn't but I was glad that the flick was finally over.
Bottom line is that this flick is a moronic ripoff to Shaun of the Dead which was unfunny and unscary too. Very amateurish in every aspects and although the film wasn't long it seemed long as it drags big time and was boring the hell out of me with the bad writing. Not a known flick and I could understand why as this was torture to watch all the way through.

The acting is done in an almost a Troma style fashion.... In other words terrible and only certain one's worth mentioning.... (Chuck) played an employee at a video rental store in which he tried to add some enthusiasm into what he said with his sarcasm but he doesn't seem to cut it right and was awfully stale by what he did. He grabbed my attention a bit but needed alot of work to build up his characteristics. He was amateurish for the most part.
(Michael / Lee) however seemed to add a ton of spunk into his part and hammed it up a bit. He was probably the best in the cast and showed off some decent energy with whatever was happening in each role. Really does well by bringing it out near the end of his performance with his heroic behavior bringing this at a full thrust. A fair character actor this fellow was.
(Keith) was okay in his role as an obnoxious and aggressive redneck hunter bringing out some okay adrenaline. He was a trained character actor and somewhat shows it here even if he delivered cheesy lines. Reacts well to stuff too and does well with his communication skills too. I enjoyed his work in Sleepaway Camp 3: Teenage Wasteland and was looking forward to seeing him do another horror flick but this one bit the dust. He however was different with his appearance which is what a character actor needs to do.
(Reverend Smith) seemed to have the right appeal to play a preacher but he was awfully silly in what he did here. Showed off some okay energy but his characteristics were a bit off. He wasn't as bad as most of the cast in the film though. He needed to show a little more effort however.
(Barbara) shows some powerful aggressions and getting to the point of stuff but yet was stiff alot of the times with her lines. She was energetic which was a good pointer and had the right motive as well as the looks too but she needed some lessons in order to improve her characteristics.

A guy only wearing a shirt is revealed with cock revealed as well as many butt shots
A woman at a bar is bare breasted with tape on her nipples
Two topless female zombies are licking each others blood

Zombies feast on a victim in the woods
Odd bloody gunshots
Top of someone's head is bitten off
Zombies are splattered on someone's windshield

Eric McGinty does poor composing to the film in which there's annoying banjo and guitar playing which sounds hokey as I get that this is a comedy as well as a horror but doesn't spice it up too well and it got on my nerves big time. It sounded fairly amateurish but I've heard worst before. Still it drove me nuts hearing this throughout the storyline. Plus there's odd synthesizer and violin music which didn't sound that much better either.

[after falling pantless from a tree]
Michael: Gail! Gail! Where's ma pants?

Rev. Smith: Well. Well. Well. Is today Christmas? Is it Easter Sunday? Well? Is it? Somebody tell me!
Church Audience: No, Reverend. Of course...
Rev. Smith: Then tell me who or what I can thank for this wonderful turnout! I mean, I can't remember the last time I've seen this many people in our little country church. Where have you sons of bitches been hiding and what brings you here today?