Suck (2009)


Written & Directed by: Rob Stefaniuk


Rob Stefaniuk .... Joey
Jessica Pare .... Jennifer
Paul Anthony .... Tyler
Mike Lobel .... Sam
Chris Ratz .... Hugo
Malcolm McDowell .... Eddie Van Helsing
Alice Cooper .... Bartender

Dave Foley .... Jeff
Dmitri Coats .... Queeny

Special Appearances:

Iggy Pop .... Victor
Moby .... Beef
Henry Rollins .... Rockin' Roger
Carole Pope .... Club Bouncer
Calico Cooper .... Barmaid

Release Dates: Toronto International Film Festival: September 11, 2009; RiverRun International Film Festival: April 16, 2010; Newport Beach International Film Festival: April 23, 2010; Fantasia International Film Festival: July, 2010; Berlin Fantasy Filmfest: August 19, 2010; Fantasy Filmfest: August 25, 2010 (Germany)/August 28, 2010 (Frankfurt)/August 29, 2010 (Cologne)/August 31, 2010 (Hanover)/ September 4, 2010 (Munich)/ September 8, 2010 (Stuttgart); Nuremburg Fanstay Filmfest: September 3, 2010; L'Étrange Festival: September 4, 2010; Turin Film Festival: November 26, 2010

*Images courtesy at:











A rock band lead by Joey (Rob Stefaniuk) will do anything to get known and out there in which they perform at a lounger where a regular Queeny (Dmitri Coats) seems to have his eyes for one of the members Jennifer (Jessica Pare) in which he evilly tempts her and then bites her on a neck becoming a vampiress and not acting normal at all in which she seems to be hungry for blood and explaining to others that she's not well.
There's times when Joey is knocked unconcious or dreaming in which he ecounters the local bartender (Alice Cooper) from the pub they played at in which he seems to read his mind as well as unravelling some dark secrets on who he really is.
The band is also hunted down by a vampire slayer Eddie Van Helsing (Malcolm McDowell) who will stop at nothing till he gets to the vampire leader in order to prevent anyone else becoming a vampire in which slowly the band starts to turn into one themselves.


I really had a hard time being convinced that this was a horror flick but it barely passes to being one so let's look into this shall we???
The story seems impressive at first with the band performing even if the song is lame as well as their arguments and discussions later on seeming stale with the dialogue writing involved in it.
Later on there's some interesting moments with the bartender explaining towards the lead character Joey on reading his mind which looked fun to watch adding a nice touch to the story. It just leaves it very mysterious that this bartneder is not who he seems to be and introducing later on to what he really is.
However one of my favourite scene's in the film is when the head vampire Queeny sings a tempting song towards Jennifer sitting in a lounge chair and acting wickedly towards her which seems to introduce the horror to the plot along with the musical comedy. This scene almost reminds me of certain moments on Dracula 2000 with the cold and deadly attitude on this vampire. It kinda seemed like a spoof on it.
There's a real funny moment when the band crosses the border and the border guard gets arrogant and questions with him getting snappy which offered some chuckles as this time it was hilarious.
It's funny with Jennifer acting expressionless and quiet and then getting sick showing alot of funny timing with this character too.
Another moment is a dream sequence with the bartender talking to Joey on a deserted road in which this seems to look like another mysterious moment that this bartender isn't who he seems to be trying to offer a creepy horror feel to it but it seems a little too silly. Then the story gets more and more lame while we watch it.
There's a stupid moment with Jennifer staring hungrily towards a dweeby looking corner store employee and stabbing a straw in his neck to suck his blood which made me think to myself this is so unoriginal and trying so hard to be funny which it isn't.
There's also a vampire slayer named Eddie Van Helsing doing away with a vampire which seemed pretty corny and it boggled me if this leaned towards a comedy or a horror since the story doesn't seem to make up it's mind. He was a nice obnxious character nonetheless.
However a neat part of the story is when Jennifer is floating in the air and singing towards Joey and other stuff like that looking like a sort of music video.
Jennifer eats other people's flesh and gets caught in the act with her trying to explain which seemed stupid to watch as the dark comedy here falls really flat and the horror in it doesn't look terrifying at all even if it seems pretty gruesome.
To consider some scenes for this to be a horror flick is with Jennifer strutting with her vampiric features as well as Eddie Van Helsing doing away or trying to with vampires along with the mysterious bartender having a dark secret along with vampires munching away on a corspe even if their lines weren't too serious while this is happening. Otherwise it was a plain musical comedy. All of this fell flat.
However it does get fun again when the film is almost over with the band trying to kill Queeny so they become normal again which almost reminds me on certain elements of The Lost Boys in which Queeny uses alot of dark humor while defending himself which this time works well along with fast paced battling. I'd have to say that this was my favourite scene. There's the odd touch of Buffy the Vampire Slayer used in this moment too.
Bottom line is it seems the makers saw Shaun of the Dead and tried to spoof this one on vampire flicks instead which was a total flop since alot of this was very stale and a bit boring too. It's a musical horror comedy blended into one which could've been fun to watch if there was a better story involved since it had a cast of musicians acting out their parts looking like a party flick. Oh well maybe next time.

The acting is somewhat okay in which lead actor Rob Stefaniuk (Joey) seemed to know his character quite well and brings on a good amount of energy to what he portrayed as someone who seems a little insecure about stuff as well as showing some anxious reactions to certain things. He shows some good aggressions too in certain spots of the story which shows off well. In a scene he shows a good shocked reaction after being hit in the head with the bottle along with good blocking on him slowly falling to the ground while playing his guitar. There's a moment with him revealing his fangs while performing with a nice vicious expression in which he shows off a good amount of energy to what he's doing. He was a better actor than he did as a writer or director in this film let alone that I didin't like his singing either. Some may disagree with me though.
Jessica Pare (Jennifer) seemed to really bring alot of spunk into her part of the film by acting emotionless and still. Plus brought on a good wicked lustful attitude too. She brought alot of energy to when she is about to attack or perform with her music on stage. Good situation on her playing away on a guitar showing good wild and wicked expressions. A nice reaction by just acting still and silent in another scene of the story. Does a good job looking shocked after eating an arm after being caught as well as her getting choked up in which had some decent comedic timing here as well as her having an attitude and getting aggressive on what she's doing. I found her to be the best character actress in this film.
Chris Ratz (Hugo) seemed to be a ham in the cast with his goofy like personailty in which he seems to do well with the bad comedic timing used and alot of the times he's very over the top in which sometimes this seemed to be necessary for the bizarre moments that's happening in the film.
Malcolm McDowell (Eddie Van Helsing) was the best in the cast I found as a vampire slayer in which he certainly shows off a perfect obnoxius type of attitude and really studied this role incredibly well and not letting an ounce of energy down with what he did in the flick. He had the perfect looks too for all that he did and was a perfect choice for the character indeed. He was also perfect by acting forceful or using any weapons on a vampire bringing it all out. Does a good job entering and grabbing someone by the throat and acting aggressive which seemed highly energised and impressive. Does well by firing his gun in the darkness showing good energy.
Shock rock godfather Alice Cooper (Bartender) really came across nicely in his supporting role of the film as he brought on a nice tempting type of charm to his role acting witty and really getting into what he did. He also had a nice darkness to his speaking when he needed to. However, you can tell that he's the same personality whenever he performs on stage or doing his musical theatrics.
Dmitri Coats (Queeny) lived to play the head vampire with his nice evil looks and expressions and having a good dark charming attitude. He shows some good comedic timing too with what he did and was everything you could imagine by portraying this role. A nice approach by him while answering a door acting coldly towards the other outside as well as having a nice evil like attitude twanging his guitar while sitting down on a couch. Plus he shows great energy by attacking the cast and killing them along with adding a good wicked humoress attitude while trying to do away with everyone. One of the best supporting actors to do this.

Now for the special appearances since we have many known rock stars portraying roles:
Punk rock godfather Iggy Pop (Victor) does a nice perfect job as one of those sarcastic types not knowing whether he is serious or not whenever he acts aggressive. He shows a good light hearted attitude too along with a nice gruff speaking whenever he says his lines. A nice approach pointing a shot gun at each of the main cast members demanding some information on them and then laughing about it which looked naturally performed. He really knew on how to portray a character.
Henry Rollins
(Rockin' Roger) certainly brought some pizzaz into his part as a sarcastic radio DJ and really coming to life with it. He showed a nice hyperactive attitude with what he did for the scene. He certainly looked different in this one compared to the other roles he portrayed in shows proving to be a worthy character actor.

A straw is stabbed through a person's neck
Body parts are revealed in a bathroom cut up
Jennifer is eating body parts
A throat is cut open

The soundtrack didn't do much for me in which alot of it was put together by John Kastner and performed by the writer/director/star Rob Stefaniuk. I just found his singing incredibly annoying and doesn't have a natural singing voice at all. The music however sounded nice with the heavy guitar riffs. There's a track they did which was called "This Is Your Brain on Drugs" which annoyed the hell out of me though. It was unoriginal to top it all off.
There is an awesome track by Dmitri Coates which is "Flesh & Bone" offering a nice horror taste to his singing almost in a Marilyn Manson type of way.
The closing credits has a nice touch to it in which Alice Cooper's song "Along Came a Spider" was played. Not one of his best songs I've heard but still pretty good.

Jennifer: [after Hugo discovers her draining a victim] It's not what it looks like.
Hugo: You drank the guy!

Queenie: You missed my heaaart.