Teenage Caveman (2002)


Directed by: Larry Clark

Written by: Christos N. Gage


Andrew Keegan .... David
Tara Subkoff .... Sarah
Richard Hillman .... Neil
Tiffany Limos .... Judith
Stephen Jasso .... Vincent

Crystal Celeste Grant .... Elizabeth
Shan Elliot .... Joshua
Hayley Keenan .... Heather

Release Dates: Direct-to-DVD: April 3, 2002 (France); Direct-to-Video: May 14, 2002 (Argentina); Direct-to-DVD: May 22, 2002 (Norway); Direct-to-DVD: May 24, 2002 (Finland); Direct-to-Video: June 11, 2002 (Germany); Made-for-Cable: July 2, 2002 (USA/Canada)







Teens encounter people, who, after being used as guinea pigs for the experimental testing of a virus can live forever in a post apocalyptic world. They flee to a dead city
Two teenagers named Neil (Richard Hillman) and Judith (Tiffany Limos) take their friends to a dead city in which they bathe and party with drugs and alcohol but then the two of them are are genetically altered indestructible mutants who have their own plans for the future of the human race.


We watch a cheesy beginning with the head caveman suddenly being stabbed through the throat with a metal object only to see that it was by a sign in which this may seem confusing wondering if this film took place in the past since cavemen only existed in the prehistoric era but then we spot the insides of the caves and them revealing porn magazines in which we definetely know that it doesn't take place in the past.
Also there's the odd intense moment when someone is sacrificed for doing sinful deeds but due to the trashy plotline it could've looked more convincing with all that we see here.
Also we spot an abandoned city when some start to flee from their caves as right then I knew that this film was taken place in the future with an obvious apocalypse that had occured in which was obviously borrowed heavily in other films that we have once seen.
It does look fairly amusing when we spot them near a large bath but yet the camera shots really focus on them taking off their clothes and seeming lusty while going in the water. Then more sequences later on with them drinking and snorting cocaine as well as taking it off and fooling around. Right away I was thinking that this was a soft core porn dud and where does the horror come into this story at all?!!
While watching them having fun almost seemed like wanting to join in the party but at the same time it becomes incredibly boring after watching all of this.
Then there's a good horror moment when one of them suddenly feels sick running topless in the corridors of the building as well as a good jumping moment on her body exploding in which this definetely looked shocking to watch.
But then we get into more of the odd dispute as well as the head of the bunch named Neil killing someone which almost leads to the horror plot as well as him acting full of life towards David and then suddenly turning like a switch acting nasty which can psych you out as to wondering why he acted like that as if he was crazy or something.
There's also moments when we spot Neils face sometimes changing briefly which is a good drawing card that the terror with unleash eventually.
There's also a moment when one of the people named Judith reacting violently towards Neil and going crazy while smacking him in which you wonder if he will do something back towards her since this was a real attention grabber here.
There's also a situation with David and his girlfriend Sarah planning on getting away from the area due to things that aren't good but of course they strip down and get it on with one another which was in a sense sleazy but yet there was a catch to this since it was a set up and Sarah isn't who she thinks she is. Plus it seems to draw in together a bit more for the horror to slowly come into the scene's especially some more horror violence going on.
Then we spot Neil totally changing into this monstrous looking thing and then I knew it was a horror flick as well as nice battling moments between him and David who also turns too which was nice to watch.
Bottom line is that this film was a complete flop and also found out later on was a remake. It has longing lustful moments to make up a badly made plot and the story was completely boring to top it all off. This one will make you fall asleep for sure just watching it all the way through as it was been done to death already.

The acting is pretty average and some of it a little bad too. Lead actor Andrew Keegan (David) however seemed to pull off his part nicely having a good clear vioce when he's speaking plus he also showed off a nice no nonsense attitude with his seriousness in the flick. He really gets with the energy within him to do what he has to do and shows an all round niceness too. Does quite well with his aggressive speaking on some magazines that he reveals to another person as this shows a good hyped up energy while we watch this.
Tara Subkoff (Sarah) shows off alot of good energy and aggression in her role as someone who is the innocent virgin of the group in which she seemed to know her stuff by perfoing this role as one of the intelligent teens of the crowd. She certainly came across nicely onto the camera in her performance here. She also showed nice fearful reactions during some intense moments. There's nice aggressive speaking on her which looked very anxious while trying to escape in which alot of this looked very impressive.
Richard Hillman (Neil) was a bit too over the top within his performance as the leader of the pack trying to portray a surfer partying type of dude but he seemed quite annoying in whatever he does here. However he does show interesting aggressions and insane madness too whenever he acted this way for certain scene's along with a good crying reaction when there's a violent reaction towards him which showed off terrific energy here. I just didn't find him to be a good character actor in general. However he does show some nice devastating reaction during a certain part of the plot with good upsetting expressions while doing all of this in which this was overly impressive showing good energy along with alot of good blocking on his behalf during a battling scene and springing into action against his foe which looked nicely done with his powerful movements showing great monstrous energy here.
Tiffany Limos (Judith) comes across as someone who is dominant and knew on how to act crazy whenever she gets into a rage which she looked truly energetic like when she has a great raging attitude with her quarrelling and violent reactions when she smacks someone around that looks fairly powerful. But sometimes she seems to get a little carried away while performing all of this and sometimes losing touch within her characteristics. However she knew on how to behave quite wicked whenever it came to that reason.
Stephen Jasso (Vincent) brings out a good geeky type of personality as well as coming across as a typical troublemaking teen which also shows off well onto the screen and found him to portray his part nicely. He had the dorky type of looks too which was a nice bonus too. He seems to know what he's doing within his perfornance here.

Tons of extensive nudity as everyone takes it off breasts and butt exposed while going into a tub as well as partying out getting it on with one another.
There's even a moment when someone feels sick and is running in the corridors topless or even someone wathing her topless and boobs totally exposed.
Many more moments with women taking off her top exposing her breasts since there's skin mostly through the story here.

Someone's neck is stabbed through a metal pole of a fence
A sharp object is stabbed in a person's neck
A persons's body explodes revealing the insides
A body is battered
Someone cuts big lines on his arm
Head is torn off
A fist torn through a chest having a heart ripped out
Body explodes

There's alot of good jungle heavy drum beats which doesn't suit the badly made budget for the film. Plus there's good guitar string playing too as composer Zoe Poledouris is too good for being a part of this awful lustful film in general.