Things (1993)

Directed by: Dennis Devine, Eugene James & Jay Woelfel

Written by: Mike Bowler, Dennis Devine, Steve Jarvis & Jay Woelfel


.... The Wife
Maegen .... Jane
.... Tulip
.... Mayor Black
.... Daisy
.... Sherri

.... Husband
.... Julia
Debra Stevens .... Beth

Special Appearance:

Jeff Burr .... The Coroner

Release Date: Direct-to-Video: October, 1993







A horror anthology of a hooker being caught with the Wife (Kinder Hunt) that she slept with and forces her to listen to two horror tales:

The Box - Three hookers enters a mining town owning a closed down theatre turning it into a whorehouse but a mean Mayor Black (Neil Delema) in which he has a box with a sluggish creature that kills hookers.

Thing in a Jar - A wife Julia (Courtney Lercara) is getting nightmares over and over of her husband mutilating her as she wonders if it will come true as her friend Beth (Debra Stevens) tries to help her by encouraging her to leave him for good but has a dark secret of her own.


Watching this as it was done on a cheap video camcorder I had a bad feeling i was in for a bad film but not terrible like I thought that it would be as there's a corny moment with the character that is called The Wife pointing a gun at a hooker and tying her up for fooling around with her husband and tells her she's going to discuss a couple of horror stories which is pretty corny but again alot of anthologies have these moments such as this one. Still inexcusable as the wraparound was quite silly to watch.

The Box - Interesting moments with the hookers entering the theatre but I didn't know as what to expect when I was watching this but too early to tell.
However, things do look creepy when there's some sort of a mafia type known as Mayor Black in which he is torturing a middle aged man by stabbing his hand and being obnoxious with him as this seemed to draw me in to see what was going on here. Then we have that creature of some sort attacking this man in which it looked a bit phony to watch but at the same time somewhat cheesy horror fun.
Nice confrontation with Mayor Black towards the head mistress of the whorehouse Sherri as well as him getting somewhat forceful towards her as this seemed necessary for the plot that we spot so far. It seemed to work in fairly well. One of the better moments on this chapter.
However during this situation there's a hooker named Daisy whom is banging her client but has a bed sheet wrapped around her breasts which looked extremely corny and my guess is that the actress playing this role refused to do nudity. This moment looked quite lame if you ask me.
Yet things looked better when Sherri opens something and one of those objects you see in practical jokes which were fake snakes popping out as this was a near jumping moment and then something terrifying happens to her when least expected after this incident which worked in cleverly.
A mild funny moment when Daisy tries to look for that little creature and killing it with Tulip trying to reason with her about the object and it's purposes as this seemed to grab my attention for a little bit.
Many good moments with a blue light flashing on Daisy and Tulip trying to look for that thing especially with Daisy herself trying to look under a bed and other surroundings as it piles up some mild suspense and fear wondering if this critter will attack out of nowhere since it builds up to the horror in this chapter.
Good intense situation when Daisy is attacked by this thing which offered nice horror timing by what it does to her so even if this film was made on a no budget still the makers tried their best to make it look as convincing as possible. Also nice odd moments of gruesomeness with this little thing leaping out to attack before you know it as this offers mild jumping moments too.
A supposed intense scene happens with Mayor Black when he is forceful with Tulip and knocks her unconcious when she falls to the ground as this looked pretty sloppy and uninspired.
Then later on a kookie moment when Tulip tries to call for this thing and says she wants to help it as I chuckled a bit when this occured as this wasn't meant to be funny but this was a bit silly when it comes to the bottom line of things.

Thing in a Jar - Alot of the abuse looked phony here as we watch the husband being nasty and hurtful to his wife Julia which isn't intense or disturing at all as it was supposed to have been and it was way too set out when we keep watching these moments unravel.
Then more situations piles up which looked deadly by what her husband does to her eyes and so fourth which kinda makes up for the phony abusive situations as well as what he does to her wrist later on as I was thinking to myself more hallucinations occuring as it is a brain teaser wondering if he is really out to get her or not.
Interesting setting when Julia calls up her best friend Beth on her hallucinations which seems to work well in a horror chapter such as the other certain things I mentioned here earlier which was a perfect touch to the story making me want to watch for more even if the abusive situations as mentioned looked too unnatural.
However a good discussion with Julia and Beth having coffee together at a cafe and what to do in order for her safety against her husband as this time things looked fairly natural and well drawn in by what they were talking about.
The chapter offers a new twist when Julia tries to get her belongings to leave with Beth helping her and then her husband out of the blue appears as well as a dark secret with Beth which I won't give it away but it works cleverly for a thriller type of horror story.
Nice dark settings with the husband digging up a belongings of Julia's along with a nice close up shot on some ooze pouring out as well as him trying to tip this stuff with a shovel and then later on this object attacking him as well as a nice cackly sound of Julia's which was a great touch.
Plus a decent mysterious situation after Beth comes out of the shower and is about to pull off some blankets that lies someone in which I knew something creepy would happen here and boy does it offer some nice horror cheese which involves this oozie creature.

Bottom line is that this was a no budgeter made on an old camcorder but as mentioned the makers tries to make an effort out of this even if some of the moments lacked. Seemed to be a mediocre creature flick but many amateurish moments that we see throughout all of this. I've seen worst made on a camcorder as the writing isn't as bad as the filming on this. If you're not in the mood for a cheesy horror flick then you'd want to pass on this one for sure.

The acting is terrible and amateurish as (The Wife) in the warparound story was too silly and over the top with her eccentric style of behavior but it seems to catch your attention by what she is talking about. Still I wouldn't make her a number one choice by being the somewhat host of the anthology. However she can come across as creepy like but we've seen these types of performances before.
Maegen (Jane) who plays the hooker held hostage really showed no enthusasm whatsoever as she seemed to have an attitude like let's get this over with in which she was a line reader and that's it. Her perforamce was terribly bland and stale too. I didn't care for her work as she needs to pick up her characteristics more so.

The Box:
(Tulip) looked like she graduated out of a modelling academy as she couldn't get into her role no matter how hard she tried to. She had the right looks to portray a hooker as she looked beautiful but this did all the talking. Wehn she screamed or freaked out she was extremely low on her energy. It was laughable and not in a good way.
(Mayor Black) was one of the better performers not to say he's top notch but still delivered his part convincingly in which he shows off a deep gravelly voice to make himself seem intimidating as well as having the right tough creepy looks and appeal to what he does here. Seemed to do an okay job by getting into your face as well and portrayed an okay mafia type of role.
(Daisy) was the best out of the whol cast in which she seemed to do well having a cocky type of attitude as well as having a turned off type of behavior too. Shows off some good energy especially when she tries to snuff that thing acting very alert with stuff. Had the right looks but my only criticism is when she gets lustful she didn't seem to get into the swing of things.
(Sherri) portrayed the head mistress of the whorehouse as she was a little over the top like the rest of the cast but she seemed to show off some interesting spunk into what she was talking about so not overly terrible like some mentioned in the anthology. Had the right looks and motive of this role.

Thing in a Jar:
(Husband) plays the abusive brute as he really forced out his lines and made nothing seem natural. In other words someone who can't act his way out of a wet paper bag as he needed acting lessons big time. This role wasn't for him whatsoever in which he was supposed to have been intense but he couldn't cut it that way no matter how hard he tried.
(Julia) who played his wife tried her best to pull off her part but she was rusty herself as her frightened attitude really didn't cut it straight no matter how hard that she tried. She was mellodramatic almost throughout everything that she did in her role but seemed to do well with a discussion about her worried behavior at a cafe but that was about it.
Debra Stevens (Beth) seemed sharp in her performance and better than the two mentioned as she seemed to show off an understanding type of attitude and gets to the point of things by what she was talking about as well. Offers a good versatality later on when she shows her other side acting cold and nasty. Seemed to be a passable character actress.

Maegen is topless when trapped in a chair
Debra Stevens
has her blouse pulled down breasts revealed as well in another scene she is taking a shower breasts revealed as well as a butt revealed too when s he goes to a bed.

Necks are chewed out and bloodied
Eyeballs are torn out
Hand ripped off
Face sliced off when bashed into a doorknob
Someone is bloodily stabbed

The music was composed by a few different people for the different chapters used in this anthology in which both Michael and Robert Barrow had some boring synthesizer music for the wraparound and The Box as it played over and over for the near closing credits which drove me nuts. But however in this first chapter there's the odd screeching sounds when the thing attacks as well as ghostly sounds which seemed to flow well too. The composer for Thing in a Jar done by Jay Woelfel had potential in which there's some dark creepy sounds as well as odd drum beats which had a good low feel to it all. Sometimes the music was a bit cheesy too like in the rest of the flick but there were fun horror touches in other places.